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New to the forum ... and at rock bottom - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

New to the forum ... and at rock bottom

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi Karen ! Good to hear from you again. Sounds like you have made some progress in the way you are thinking re taking care of yourself regardless of what the world chucks your way ! And I am pleased you are spending the day with someone who understands. All the best.

Robert Image
Hi Karen, Glad you were not on your own this Christmas. In the past I have had some pretty awful years with family members and I can so appreciate what you are going through now. But you have to put yourself first, think of you and your health. I no longer talk to my family and havnt done for about 9 years now, they no where I am. I used to fone send christmas cards, birthday cards, presents that sort of thing they were all returned back to me. Now I dont fone and I dont send cards.
It used to hurt, I would cry for days. But then when sitting on my own something had to give I had to look out for me. I came through the other side thank goodness.

Am not saying this was easy and am sure this is not easy for you either. Just remember you have good friends.. True friends are very hard to come by.

Good luck for 2012 Karen, hope you have a good year xx
Thank you all for being so kind and replying to my post.

Kim, I'm sorry your family have been so unkind to you, I feel the same pain you do. Managed to get through Christmas although the pain is still raw. My sadness is unfortunately turning to hate, but I'm sure that will go away at some point. Fed up with their nasty little games. I'm sure my mum will regret one day when she's been put into a home, that'[s something I would not have done but I know my brother and his old hag will do (sorry for the name calling, slightly pee'd off at them right now)
Pleased to know you got through Christmas okay, Karen. Well done. Am sure it was far from easy. At this time of year we feel we ought to be happy and have stuff to celebrate etc. But for many this is the worst possible time of year. We can feel so very isolated. I understand what you say about feelings. You will experience all sorts of strong feelings. Impossible not to. Hope you have one or two things planned just for yourself over the coming weeks. As many of us have said, YOU are the one that matters most. Good to hear from you Image Take it step by step and make an effort to look after yourself regardless of what life tries to throw your way !

All the best,

Hi Karen glad you got through Christmas. If I dont manage to get back on before the new year I really hope 2012 will be a better one for you and of course for everyone else xx
Hi Karen, and welcome to the forum.

At times I am so pleased I was an only child because the care of my elderly parents was wholly on my shoulders ( with lots of help and support from my husband).

My mum suffered dementia and went through stages of openly hating me, nipping me whenever we passed, slapping me (usually if bath was mentioned) and looks which could kill an oxen at 40 paces, but I never stopped loving her. The afternoon of the evening she died she told my husband how much she loved me and asked him to look after me. Just before she died she told me she was pleased I had come home one last time to see her before she died. We had been commuting and latterly living in the old family home for eight years.

I was also carer for my eldest brother in law until his death which caused a family feud as he didn`t want any of them to know he was ill. I said I wouldn`t lie for him and if any of them asked I would have to tell the truth. Within four months he was little more than a skeleton, but none of them noticed! When he died the sh1t hit the fan and I have compounded the situation by marrying his brother 13 years ago.

A dear friend at the time told me two things which have got me through life when things were tough. (1) You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time, therefore sometimes it is best to just please YOURSELF..... & (2) People who know me know better, people who don`t know me don`t matter.

I hope you will find comfort and friendship here on the forum as I have done over the years.

Maybe you will join us on roll call when you feel up to some daily banter.

Take care