New to the forum

[Celia_1502]

Hello,
I'm Celia and this is my first post in the forum. I joined a while ago but have not been active in the forum. I'm a Volunteer for Carersuk and have a 25 yr old son who has learning difficulties and lives at home with my husband and myself who are both over 60. I have been caring fulltime for our son most of the Lockdowns during the Pandemic and it's been a challenge but thankfully he's back to his daytime activities almost completely now. I've been a Volunteer for Carersuk for several years now and found it very rewarding. Hope to get a bit more involved in the Forum now with a little more time available.

[Anivad319]

Hi Celia glad your son got his routine back, lifting lockdown is a godsend isn't it.
Best wishes to you.

[sunnydisposition]

Hi & welcome Celia

You must have a fountain of experience and knowledge. It would be nice to share that on the forum.

[Melly1]

Hi Celia and welcome,

it's been a tough haul, hasn't it?!

Melly1

[Rob_McC]

Hi Celia

While you've been a member of the forum of the while, as it's your first post thought i'd welcome you and share some of the info below. So welcome! You will no doubt be aware of much of this given you already volunteer for Carers UK too.

Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you'd like to and there's no pressure to share anything you don't want to.

You can find information on how to register to our online meetups at the following pages:

Care for a Cuppa: https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... ne-meetups - the next online meet up is Tuesday 17th May (a week today). This social is a great way to have a little break if you are able to and spend some quality time talking to people who understand what you are going through right now.

Share and Learn: https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... e-sessions - these sessions range from creative writing activities to beginners Latin dance sessions.

Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (advice@carersuk.org)

They also provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers a range of subjects including:

Benefits and financial support
Your rights as a carer in the workplace
Carers' assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions.

[Sally_17031]

Hello and welcome. I care for my Mum who has dementia and prior to that my Dad who had a neurological condition. Lockdown has been really hard. Let's hope that things can get better as things open up.

[Hannah_2105]

Hi, newbie here.

I've recently realised I'm actually a carer after doing some research. My partner has just come out as a transgender woman (who also had ADHD and depression). When she experiences extreme gender dysphoria she can get to the point where she depersonalises and can't reply to me or move.

Its only got that severe a few times but its pretty scary to be in it. I currently do most things for her. I shave her legs in the bath because she can't beat to look at it, I remind her to get in the shower as she can do that herself with reminding, I reminder her to take her ADHD medication, including ordering and picking up her repeat prescriptions. I make most of our meals and wash up after them, I drive us everywhere including her appointmenrs because she can't drive.

I go food shopping for us both and ensure she a) remembers to eat because otherwise she wouldn't and b) i make sure she eats some fruit and vegetables, because otherwise she would just live off Pot noodles.

I also do her laundry, do all household chores and am her emotional supporter when she gets build up with emotion and blocks everything out. I have to remind her frequently throughout the day to brush her teeth because she wouldn't otherwise due to hating looking in the mirror.

Her depression means she wants to do things but just...can't. And her ADHD means the thoughts just drop out of her brain to remember to do it.

I go through phases where I get really angry that I have to do everything myself and that she can't help or that SOMEONE can't help me with everything considering I'm also a full time student and nearly 21 years old. But I underestimate how much she NEEDS me and the support in all elements of her life.

If I leave for college for not even a full day, like 3-4 hours she's messaging me a lot asking when I'm coming back and that she misses me, which are really cute and nice to see. But it gets to the point where it doesn't JUST seem like she misses my company, she misses me doing things for her because she's scared of being alone.

I love her to pieces, I just sometimes feel resentment, not towards her, but to this situation that I've been thrown into. I never asked for this. I just wanted a normal relationship but I guess there is no 'normal.' Its likely temporary that I'll be caring for her needs, maybe 2/3 years. Or it might be more long term I'm not sure.

Thanks, Hannah:)