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Jenny, I have a very good relationship with my 3 stepchildren, but they still have their lives to live, all I'm saying is don't expect help. So our family chickens are fine, pecking in the garden. BTW thinking about that saying ( chickens coming home to roost) you'd think that would be good really, better than being eaten by fox !!
That's excellent! I only raised it as potential issue, as if you'd had a poor relationshiop with them (for whatever reasons), then they would not have been 'on your side' so to speak. I do agree they have their own lives to lead, but they should not assume you will 'do it all totally', without offering you some 'respite' by taking on your husband from time to time - you will increasingly need respite breaks alas.

(You're quite right about that chickens analogy - as you say, one does not want chickens roaming around as fox-prey!!!!)
That was one thing I did wrong. Don't wait for offers of help, probably best to ask for specific things. I also did have my wheelchair bound Mum to look after and thought! my 3 brothers would offer help, which they didn't. In hindsight I wished I arranged for them to come on regular days/times not just when they could fit it in. So ask!!! Also LouLou because you are much younger than your partner there will be an assumption that you are more able to cope/care.
I agfee. Knowing that you can have, say, one day off a week, come rain or shine, could be a real 'lifesaver' for you.

'Caring is wearing' and when you have no one else to share it with, it's exponentially worse.

Remember, what you can cope with now, for the 'short term' is NOT what you can sustain for months, years on end. Burn out is very, very real.

And do please explore your 'escape options' (eg 'If things get really bad I will have to put him into residential care, like it or not' that sort of thing. What your options are will be determined, first and foremost, by money.

Also, start getting in outside care-workers now, even if you feel you don't need them yet. One of htre most often reported things on this forum is the cry 'He/she only wants ME - he/she doesn't want strangers looking after him!'. Yes, well, the point is, they HAVE to accept some number of 'strangers' as 'me' can't do it all 'for ever'. Best to get them used to that right away. You can use the time the care-workers are there to get on with your own things. Give you a break, even if only a mini-break.