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New to the Forum - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

New to the Forum

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
It sounds as though you have had a DWP standard letter. I've complained to them on a number of occasions that their letters are as clear as mud!
I suspect that their "regular payments" mean the same amount each month paid into your account - only it's not each month, it's each 28 days, as they make 13 payments a year.
On top of this you may get a cheque to pay the outstanding amount so far, but I can't promise!
Hi

I can relate to everything you mention. My partner had a stroke at 55 when I was 39. Now I turn 60 this year and having to retire because if his diminishing health. He falls regularly despite the fall prevention team and gets confused if he gets a urinary infection. I get little back though I know he appreciates me. I have devoted years to trying to make his life meaningful and interesting and now I fear my retirement will be caring full time.

I would seriously think about what you want from your life. You deserve more than a small carer's allowance. I wish someone had spelled out to me how difficult life is as a carer and I might have found the strength to walk away or develop a different relationship with him.

I did find joining a carer's support group was very helpful. It puts things in perspective, provides coping tools, makes you realise you are not alone and reminds you that you didn't choose this life and are doing the best you can so look after yourself.
Janet, is it really vital for you to retire this year? Would reducing your hours be an option? I'm sure work is far money than just a means to earn money, providing interest and companionship for you too.
Have you explored every other option, like your husband having someone in to help him when you are at work, a Lifeline, day centres, a sitting service?
I hope he is claiming Personal Independence Payment?
If you do retire, be sure to factor in some "me" time for yourself on a regular basis. When my son with special needs was little, I always used to say the bathroom was my sanctuary. I locked the door, and would ignore anyone banging on it - I told my husband IF WW3 broke out, he could consider summoning me, but otherwise, forget it.