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Carers UK Forum • New to forum, struggling in caring role. - Page 3
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Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 5:24 am
by bowlingbun
With regards to your parents, think that your role will be that of supervising any care they need, NOT providing hands on care. Subtle hints about preparing their house for a time when they are less able, a dishwasher, tumble dryer, reducing garden work by flattening borders, having a nice patio to sit on, regular clearouts of stuff they don't need any more, and most of all, sorting out their powers of attorney, will all make their lives so much easier for them to manage.

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 9:53 am
by TigerLily
bowlingbun wrote:
Sun Jun 28, 2020 5:24 am
With regards to your parents, think that your role will be that of supervising any care they need, NOT providing hands on care. Subtle hints about preparing their house for a time when they are less able, a dishwasher, tumble dryer, reducing garden work by flattening borders, having a nice patio to sit on, regular clearouts of stuff they don't need any more, and most of all, sorting out their powers of attorney, will all make their lives so much easier for them to manage.
Thank you, bowlingbun, that is all very good advice. I am very fortunate that, at the moment, my parents are still in good health and active. You are right to suggest though, making a start on gently introducing some of these topics. Preparation could help in many ways. I think we all have a tendency to put off or not think through thing that we don’t really want to happen, though we know they will eventually.

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 10:25 am
by bowlingbun
Also make sure they have done a Power of Attorney for you, then you do your own! Much better to sort these out well in advance.

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 7:29 pm
by TigerLily
bowlingbun wrote:
Sun Jun 28, 2020 10:25 am
Also make sure they have done a Power of Attorney for you, then you do your own! Much better to sort these out well in advance.
Thank you, bowlingbun, you are very right. I need to get on and sort out POA for my husband and myself. We have sorted out our wills thankfully. It’s on my list of things I really need to sort out. I was rather horrified to find out from a conversation with my parents recently that they haven’t got wills. I urged them to get it sorted as soon as possible. The reason I was horrified was that my dad had an operation at the end of last year. I made the assumption - I know, always dangerous - that he wouldn’t have gone ahead with that without a will, but obviously I was wrong. Is a POA something you can sort out yourself or do you really need specialist advice?

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 11:11 pm
by bowlingbun
I am careful with money but believe sometimes it is best to pay a solicitor. Others here disagree.
Do you have any brothers and sisters?

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 12:20 am
by TigerLily
bowlingbun wrote:
Sun Jun 28, 2020 11:11 pm
I am careful with money but believe sometimes it is best to pay a solicitor. Others here disagree.
Do you have any brothers and sisters?

Hello bowlingbun,
Hmm, legal matters are a real worry. Think you’re right, sometimes it it is best to have it dealt with someone who knows it all inside out. In answer to your question, I have one sibling. We haven’t had a really serious conversation about possible future care situation for my parents. Again something that will have to happen at some point.

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 12:28 am
by bowlingbun
Better to get a solicitor involved to save legal fees later!

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:47 am
by Pet66
I went through a solicitor online. He filled in the form, sent it to me, I signed, the relevant people signed, sent it back to him. It was double checked, then sent on to the office of public guardianship. Easy. It did cost me the extra, but not as much as face to face, and it was worth it to me. My friends family are doing it themselves, a mistake was made, so it's cost more anyway!
It's not a difficult form to complete but an error can so easily be made, which is time and money.
I agree with BB.

Re: New to forum, struggling in caring role.

Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:31 am
by TigerLily
Pet66 wrote:
Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:47 am
I went through a solicitor online. He filled in the form, sent it to me, I signed, the relevant people signed, sent it back to him. It was double checked, then sent on to the office of public guardianship. Easy. It did cost me the extra, but not as much as face to face, and it was worth it to me. My friends family are doing it themselves, a mistake was made, so it's cost more anyway!
It's not a difficult form to complete but an error can so easily be made, which is time and money.
I agree with BB.
Thank you bowlingbun and Pet66,

I didn’t realise that you could have an online solicitor. Certainly something I will look into. I am prepared to pay now for peace of mind.