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New to dementia journey - Page 93 - Carers UK Forum

New to dementia journey

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
938 posts
Hubby is so frail. Can see his rib cage, his watch fits half way up his arm. Eating small amount if dinner and enjoying yoghurts. So devastated at seeing him as he is,let alone the dementia decline.
That must be so hard to see.

Glad though he is enjoying yoghurts. Buy him the naughtiest yoghurts you can find and stir in extra thick cream, to add calories.


I like the idea of "naughty yoghurts" :)
Could you also take in things like chocolate mousse or trifle type thingies ? A bit of pampering never goes amiss.

Are you managing to look after yourself too Pet?

Big ((((hugs))))
Mrs A
Hubby has pseudo-obstruction. Nothing can be done to correct it. The tube to keep the bowel movements, which is the problem with the nursing home. Everyone at the hospital, from the top consultants, to the junior nurses explain its not a difficult thing to do,but the home refuse, even with some training from the hospital. My daughters and myself were offered training as an option and we are not medically trained. Hubby also has swallowing difficulties. I do take yoghurts etc to him. Am anxious about the new nursing home, where it will be etc. How the move will affect him,and all that goes with it. Angry is a mild word, to how I feel regarding the nurses at the home. Won't even try. The ward sister told me yesterday, they say, no, without any explanation. Not one nurse, or the manager has made contact with me,or family, to find out how he is,how we are. They have in the past. The home that states relatives are as important as residents. Proving to be the contary. Its gone so downhill, and obvious, by the CQC findings. The nursing, not the carers, or cleanliness etc. They are a disgrace to the profession.
I'm trying to look after myself. Pacing visits, but to be honest, can't be bothered with very much.
Hubby will not see this year out. So I'm not in a good place, but thankful for having a caring family, who are heartbroken too, and angry with the home. We support each other.
Hey Pet

Really sorry to hear this. Must be so frustrating about the home. Have hope that his new home will be better. They are not all the same. My Dad was in a very caring specialist nursing home. Several members of staff visited whilst he was in hospital in his final days. I really hope they can find somewhere nice.

So, so hard for you. But you are a strong lady even though you probably don't feel it right now. You have given support and strength to so many others here who have followed your story. Just sending a big virtual hug to you and your lovely family.

I am so sorry Pet. I too would be furious re the Nursing Home as surely it is imperative that there is a continuation of care and as little disruption as possible re your husband.

Please rest if you can and take care of yourself.
Looks like this long journey is fast approaching its end. Was called into the hospital this morning. Had my private chat with hubby. He is comfortable and seems peaceful. Decided to come home for a while. Can not fault the hospital staff. Be back when I can
Glad hubby is comfortable and peaceful and that you had a chance to have a private chat with him.

Take care, we are here for you.

Hi Pet,

I haven't been on the forum in a while and I was horrified to hear your news. You were so supportive to me a couple of years ago when neither of us could visit our beloved other halves over Christmas and New Year. I am devastated for you and what you and your husband have been through in the last few weeks. The next few sound like they are going to be even tougher. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the strength to get through it.

sending you much Love and hugs
Thank you Melly and nhshater.
I slept for about 4 hours, then was thinking odd thoughts. One being about some plants I bought, and others that came by post yesterday ( plugs, shoved through the letterbox) This is going to sound so crazy, but was out earlier on, planting them in containers. Why would I do that in my circumstances?? I know hubby wouldn't want them left to wither. That's my reasoning anyway.
Was assured the hospital would phone me if any change.
Will get prepared for today now as best I can
938 posts