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New to dementia journey - Page 57 - Carers UK Forum

New to dementia journey

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
936 posts
Thank you Melly
I'm glad today is over with to be honest. DD cooked a lovely dinner as usual, and I ate it with out making a mess! We didn't mention hubby too much although I know he was on our minds. So, see what tomorrow brings, and carry on trying to cope. No choice, inner strength and all that.
That's the spirit, Pet.

Melly1
Hi Pet, well done, that sounds like the best it could be in the circumstances.
I ended up having a stress free day, didn't put any pressure on myself to do anything. It was lovely, even if I did nod off afterwards!
I've had a restless night. The weather is awful where I live. At the moment it's like a sheet of ice. 3 weeks now that I haven't been able to visit hubby. I'm fighting head and heart,.I know head should win and not take the risk of slipping. Staff tell me the driveway at the nursing home is not too good either. Most unfair to them. So Im in need of reassurance that I am doing the right thing because am having a wobble about it.
Pet, of course you are doing the right thing. If you slipped with one arm out of action, you would then be in great danger of doing something to the other. Put simply, how would you pull your knickers up then?! In fact, you'd have to go into hospital and then a nursing home. Sadly, your husband's memory is probably so poor now that he can't distinguish between days and weeks, as he forgets so quickly. Keep in touch with the nursing staff, and they will tell you when it's safe to go in.
Really hard frost down here this morning, but there's now a glorious clear blue sky. I'm going for a drive on my own, along the coast, to blow the cobwebs away, too tired to do anything else.
Plus with both arms in plaster how would you access the forum?!!!

All being well, the weather will be milder at the weekend onwards for a bit and you will be able to see Hubby again. Be prepared that you will notice any changes in him more keenly, as you haven't seen him for a while.

Melly1
Hi Pet
Is there someone at the Home who could let you do some sort of face time or Skype with hubby? That way you could see him and him you, even if you can't physically be there. Am sure your grandchildren would help you your end.
Just a thought
MrsA
MrsAverage wrote:
Thu Dec 28, 2017 4:17 pm
Hi Pet
Is there someone at the Home who could let you do some sort of face time or Skype with hubby? That way you could see him and him you, even if you can't physically be there. Am sure your grandchildren would help you your end.
Just a thought
MrsA
I had the same thought awhile back, but then thought the staff wouldn't have time to set it up. But actually now visitors are allowed, this is feasible. Even if hubby didn't "get it," you'd be able to see him .

Melly1
Mrs A. They haven't a laptop at the home, and I'm not sure it would work for hubby. My son in law took the risk of calling in Xmas Eve, He didn't tell us he was going, just went. Had an Apron and old gloves which he threw away. Hubby was fine, apparently. Son in law asked who put the decorations up and hubby said I had! No asking where any of us are and he was clean and tidy. I still need to see for myself etc. In one way I dread going and another way Im desperate to see him. Limbo land! Only because I'm wondering if there will be noticeable deterioration.Not being able to do much isn't helping. Ambiguous grief which never goes away. Your suggestion is a good thought.
Managed to visit at last! Poor hubby, his face is thinner. Was happy enough to see me and responded to a kiss. I wanted to hug him tightly. I think he felt he was in a hotel room today. Said the food isn't as good as the last place! I'm quite teary now home, because the situation hit me in the face. Almost having to adjust again. I'm still finding my estranged sisters death surreal too.
936 posts