New to dementia journey

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589 posts
It's taken over a week to get an answer as to whether hubby is still on long term antibiotics. No he isn't, and hasn't been for sometime! The doctor has decided that the residents shouldn't remain on them. Still not sure if hubby has a UTI as the staff are still trying to test. Possibly, with the vascular dementia, he has taken a small step down? I know it's going to happen, but it still pulls at me. Such is the nature of the damn illness.
Sending (hugs), Pet. It really shouldn't take that long to discover what medication your husband is on, nor to do a simple urine test. Sadly, vascular dementia does mean that the dementia increases in stages, as you know, but it would be good to know. A dreadful dreadful illness.
Hubby no longer on the long term antibiotics.
Today has been sad for me. He had the specialist check his swallowing. It has become worse. No longer can have biscuits or kit kats etc. He can have something like a milky way. No more toast, and no more of the rice crispies he chooses every morning without fail. He never ate cereals pre Dementia. I know the day he was choking frightened me no end, and it's all for his well being. However, a stage down and I feel quite emotional. My own throat feels like it's closing up.
((( Pet66)))

My own throat feels like it's closing up.
Mine has a lump in it too Pet :( sending (((hugs))) xxx
Eventful week.
Continuing health care made another appointment for the 13th October. I asked the name of the S/W allocated. The person who telephoned me didn't know! The confirmation letter arrived the next day, appt for the 12th?! I phoned. It had to be changed because the nurse from CHC dept couldn't make the day. Apologies, sometimes just do not seem adequate. Seems ok to mess my family about.
DOLs visited hubby yesterday too. I knew it was due, but not the date. She did telphone me however, explained what she had said to hubby. She said there is deterioration. He told her he had just come out of hospital. Didn't know his DOB, age and said he lived somewhere the other side of Birmingham to where I actually live, even his parents when they were alive! She believes he is contended most of the time, so that's a comfort to me.Each step down is like a punch in heart. I am, still trying to get on with life. No choice
Hugs Pet, even though you know what the problem is, it's still terribly tough. Be kind to yourself this week. Sometimes it helps to just let the world go by without you for a day or two, doing just the most vital stuff.
I had a good break away in Majorca, but the hotel was like an old folks home, at 65 I'm sure I was by far the youngest during the first week!! However, I did lots of trips and walking, the sea was lovely and warm but a bit too rough at times.
I can fly to Majorca from Bournemouth - the plane comes in for the final approach over my house (!) so next time I go there I'll stay in a hotel where the beach is a bit more sheltered - and hopefully residents are younger.
Hi Pet, having some similar issues this week- Dad admitted to hospital as was "unrousable" mostly due to not drinking more than 2 or 3 drinks per day for a week or so. Started boiuncing around like zebedee (well not quite) as soon as he was in the assessment unit. Hospital good and ready for me and had a social worker going the the CHC checklist with me on 2nd day of admission but failed dismally and mostly scored c in every category and one or 2 bs.
Dad was asked where he was and he said "The Queen Elizabeth hospital)" but he's down south and the The QE is in Birmingham where he came from 60 years ago.
He said it was 1999, he couldn't remember where his son lived , nor his house number.
In the week I got called "Henrietta's mother" and he asked if my brother had gone up to bed ( he hasn't lived here for 40 years or more).
Hello Pet - I am also new to the forum and dementia is close to my heart. My mum has had dementia for 11 years and we have looked after her all that time without any help. Initially this was because she refused help and as time went on we just had our own system of coping and I felt outside help would just have made things difficult. With hindsight I think that was wrong, I have now realised there is a support network out there for carer's, respite care and help my mum could have had that may have helped in little ways. Your husband is very young and I do feel for you. My advice would be get all the help and support you can, take advantage of respite so that you can have some quality time for yourself and above all give yourself a pat on the back for the great job you are doing. I wish you all the best. x
Hello Anne Marie
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
I'm not actually new to the forum. I joined March 2016, when l was in a very panicky sad place. The forum has been a lifesaver to me. Still is, as I can state how I'm feeling, coping, ( or not). Hubby and myself were soul mates, even with the ups and downs of day to day life. I realise it's ambiguous grief that my family and myself are going through. It helps to even have a name for it.
My family are a wonderful support, and although the nursing home has its blips, it is a good nursing place.
Hubby has suffered strokes and has vascular dementia.
You take care of yourself and keep in touch.
589 posts