New to dementia journey

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Pet, don't be anxious.
Do your homework beforehand. Look at the CHC checklist and highlight the things you think are most important. Unfortunately, CHC is a postcode lottery, easier to get in some areas than others. Arrive for the meeting at least half an hour early, as very often assessors will go and visit the person concerned earlier.
BB ,
Hubby's complex needs means he is already recieving CHC funding. This is a review, 5 months late from what I have read. His needs are even more now in my opinion, he no longer can walk, (when he went into the home he could walk with a simmer, and could steer a wheelchair) or use the arm at at all where the stroke affected him. Incontinent, etc. However he is much less aggressive, although still has outbursts if the staff annoy him, or if another resident even looks into his room. A room he never leaves,even though he thinks he does! He used to get really agitated with other residents if the fiffed and faffed round him or touched any of his belongings. If staff ask him if he wants to go to the lounge he says he will pop down later. I bought the special chair in the hope he would leave his room, but so far he hasn't.
I've looked at the check list again and as far as I can see, he is still ticking the boxes. But you know the LAs, so I feel I have to be one step ahead.
Sorry if this is a long explanation post.
Good evening pet, how have you been these few days since we last messaged?
It does beggar belief that CHC don't know here's he is living if they've been paying his costs all this time :roll:
Can't wait to hear what you find out Pet xxx

there's always something isn't there. Another hoop to jump through.

Always amazes me that the professionals think their convenience re dates and times is more important than the families and carees convenience. If it wasn't for us and our carees they wouldn't have a job!

You could arrange to meet with the nurse to discuss strategies before hand. I'm sure the nurse is used to attending such reviews and will be doing her damndest to keep the essential funding in place.

Hubby's named nurse apparently is on duty today. I believe she is on leave when the meeting takes place. I will try to see her today.
I was upset yesterday. Lovely greeting from hubby. The resident that keeps going to his room and agitating him,( another poor lost soul resident). Hubby said this man attacked him the day before.? Said he had hit his arm. I made the right noises and then changed the subject. After a while, I gently broached the subject again. The same things were said. The resident has to be downstairs, as he has been aggressive with the noisy and pacing residents upstairs. I don't know if hubby is confabulating, but the thought that it may, or could happen has really upset me. My hubby is in no position to defend himself. Except very verbally! The manager was on duty, even though she doesn't work weekends. Was going to speak to hubby with another member of staff. Who by the way promised to phone me but didn't. Staff feel this poor man needs more supervision than they can give.
I've posted this today as apposed to yesterday, as it could have written in a very agitated angry manner!
Hi Pet,
How worrying. Have the care home got to the bottom of what happened and got back to you yet?

Does hubby keep his door open or closed? I wonder if they could fit a child lock/ alarm/ replace the door with a split, stable type door /add a stair gate/ etc to keep the resident out/ warn staff he is about to enter?

It might be that complaints about this resident from families etc will assist the home in getting additional funding for this more challenging resident.

(It's happened at school, parents complained about one VERY loud boy who travelled on transport with their son when he went to respite and eventually seperate transport was funded for the very loud boy. As no families complained about him on the regular transport home, those poor children still had to endure his loudness in a confined space for their journeys ...)

No one got back to me Melly. The staff member who said she would is very good with residents, but can suffer with verbal diarrhoea!! You know the sort, Mrs wonderful. But as she is so caring to hubby and others I can accept ( just).
I close hubby's door, not completely but so there is a very small opening, which seems to deter other residents. Apparently this man has calmed down to how he was upstairs. The home wouldn't provide gate or stable door etc, and doubt they would let me. The manager want the fire door kept closed at the end of the corridor, but staff want it open to hear the other residents. I don't know what the answer is to be honest, except an extra staff to give the resident more of a one to one? He likes to pace, which he can do upstairs, but then he is disruptive and aggressive. I'm hoping hubby is confabulating, bizzare as that sounds, and as long as he feels he is believed, maybe it will calm down. If he does get hit, then my wrath will be seen and heard! Against staff, not the resident.
Had a shock today to say the least. When I arrived, hubby was choking, not just coughing, but blow in the face choking. I ran for the nurse, who wasn't actually on duty but in the office. She told me to get the other nurse, went to hubby at high speed thank goodness. She had to hit his back really hard. She had pressed the nurses alarm button. I was outside of his room in absolute terror at what I was seeing. In the end there were five members of staff around him. Not all necessary I might add, the two agency could have gone back to the lounge to see to other residents. Hubby's dinner was very dry gammon, and chips. I do not want him to have food like that any more, and made it clear. He needs mash and softer food now, not pureed but certainly not the sort of food they served him today. I have just about stopped thinking of what could have happened. Am hoping, now that they realise he needs to be checked on more regularly. Otherwise I will have to be there everyday for all mealtimes. Poor hubby, he naturally was so frightened.
I'm so hoping my next post on here is more positive. The last two days have been worrying to say the least.
(((HUGS))) Pet, anyone would be scared, staff must be really vigilant now. Does hubby refuse to eat in the dining room? My mum did.
541 posts