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(((Pet)))) definitely final straw. Hope the release has done you good. As BB says, be kind to yourself.

Had the CHC review meeting today. From 1.50 till 4.30! Very heart wrenching as I read and heard things my husband says and does that really isn't him. Just reinforces that I m losing him to this blasted dementia. However, his scoring was favourable for him to continue with CHC as his needs are even more complex. I won't know until the panel have checked and agreed, and that can take few weeks.
No social worker turned up but I just couldn't go through waiting for another appointment to be made. I coped with the support of the manager.
I'm exhausted.
Well done Pet, such heart wrenching stuff. Try to have a lazy day tomorrow.
What a long ordeal, but so pleased to hear how well you coped Pet. What treat are you going to reward yourself with? (hint)

Well, you would have thought that I would have slept well last night! Not a bit of it. Everything rolling round my head, re the review. Sometimes it felt like it wasn't my hubby we were discussing, but a stranger in the midst. I'm truly glad my daughter's were unable to attend. No need for the three of us to hear what I heard.I do understand that the negatives were being picked out, as they are what panel need. Clumped together, it was starting! Made me realise that I just can't care for him at home. He wouldn't be safe. In the early hours, I was thinking, maybe I will cut my visits. Doubt I will, it was tiredness and emotional roller coaster. Strangely enough, I had slept ok the previous night, where you would have thought that would have been a bad night?
Mrs A, I haven't thought of a reward. I'm meeting my older Grandaughter on Tuesday for our 'Nanny' day. That hasn't happened for ages. Really looking forward to that. I'm certainly not going to be doing anything today that I don't want or have to do.
My Mac is at the dry cleaners, so May go and collect it today ( may) just so Have some fresh air albiet cold air! Thing I need to chill, pun intended lol.
Pet66 wrote:
Fri Nov 17, 2017 10:23 am
Made me realise that I just can't care for him at home. He wouldn't be safe. ...

...Thing I need to chill, pun intended lol.
Dearest , dearest Pet. I hadnt realised this thought had been at the back of your mind for nearly 2 years now. It must have been hard to hear out loud but I hope you find over the next few weeks that in fact you feel easier in the knowledge that you did the right thing in the circumstances. It's not your fault he got this cruel disease. It's not your fault he needs residential care to keep him safe.

Bad puns are however your fault!!! ;)
Visit to hubby yesterday was emotional. He was very confused. Even the care staff noticed. Whether it was just one of those days, or whether its another step down? Who knows. I try to stay strong when am with him. Try to rationalize the situation anyway. Not easy, this long goodbye.
I was telling my hubby your story earlier today. Your devotion and love is so strong and we share your pain

Poor hubby. He has the sickness virus that a few of the residents have. Logically its as well I couldn't visit because of being snowed in as I don't want it! Just feel helpless
780 posts