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New to dementia journey - Page 35 - Carers UK Forum

New to dementia journey

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936 posts
Feel a little better today. DD 2 and her husband visited hubby today. He was more alert, had his haircut and eyebrows tidied. The football book I bought him was a good talking point for them. He remembers lots about Birmingham City Football club past times. Feel like I've done something constructive. 1day at a time.
Also DD mentioned to the manager that although I've requested several times that his food needs to be cut up it's still not happening. The manager most displeased. I know there is a note in the kitchen with instructions. On Sunday he was served very thick piece of beef and large roast potatoes. He was out of it on Sunday, but he wouldn't have managed anyway, and at the moment he doesn't want me to cut it for him. In his lucid moments. I don't feel it's a massive request.
Just a vent!
Today my Grandson visited Hubby. Well before dinner time. Meat still not cut into sensible portions. He didn't want DG to help, and then gave up. One day in the week he allowed me to help, and ate the lot.
I've now emailed the manager. I haven't cut the directors in or the overseer this time. I'm giving another chance now it's in writing. However I will, if my request isn't sorted.
Oh Pet,
Such a simple request, so easy to do and doing it means the difference between someone having adequate nutrition or not. Could be argued to be a safe guarding matter. Is hubby losing weight?

Who brings round the meals? Would a large notice on hubby's door or hanging from his door knob help?

At school we have, "safe meal time plans," for those that need them. What does the home have in place?

Melly1
Could he wear a badge maybe saying 'I like my meat cut up!'....sort of like those badges kiddies get from the doctor like 'I've been good!'

(I'd like to wear one saying 'Do NOT feed this woman puddings or cake! She's QUITE fat enough!'

As Melly says, it's such a simple thing for them to do, and makes such a difference. And surely he can't be the only resident there who needs that done for him at this stage?
Melly
The care staff take hubby's dinner to him. They have a corridor to walk, past 5 rooms. Yes, hubby has lost weight, but his diet is so different now, no pint of lager or glass of wine for a start! Sometimes he looks worse than other times in his face. Sadly, can look like someone with dementia, if you understand my meaning? Other days when more lucid he looks better. Likes sweet things! That's ok, but obviously we want him to eat nutritional food, whilst he can. I take fruit salad to him sometimes, as finger food.
Hope it's resolved soon. I feel it's not alot to ask.
Jenny, it's doubtful the staff would remember to put a badge on him! :oops:
Pet you say OH likes the odd lager or glass of wine ?

My Mum always did like her glass of sherry before dinner (!) and her GP said it was OK for her to still enjoy a glass now and then :) The care home staff were very good and most days did manage to remember to pour her out a small glassful from a bottle we had taken in (labelled with her name !). Perhaps they could do the same at your OH's home ? It might help to improve his appetite.
Susieq
Sadly, Hubby is on lots of medication. 13 tabs a day if I'm correct. I don't feel even a small lager or glass of wine would be in his best interests. Would just love to treat him.
There is a note on his door re food and a note in the kitchen. An apology via email. Unfortunately, today, he didn't want his meal anyway. Staff had made him toast as alternative,which he didn't eat. I told him I was hungry and said let's share. He then ate half slice toast, so did I. ( Certainly didn't really want it but hoped). At 3pm staff brought cup of tea to us both. He ate the cake I took him!! Just think it was one of those days.
I felt the sadness again that I'm slowly losing him. Oh dear.
At last Hubby's food is being cut up. He seems to be eating it ok.
Had a phone call to say 1 of the staff had dropped his electric razor and it's broken. I've replaced it because it's using it is 1 of the very few things he can do for himself. Doubt the home will pay for the replacement.
Today I left with an awful headache. Watching the slow decline takes its toll.
Have some arrangements in place to make a start on the odd jobs that need doing, is the kitchen tiling that needs finishing, and new back door. It's time to get the ball rolling.
If staff dropped it, staff should pay. Give a copy of the receipt to the matron.
Pet66 wrote:Susieq
Sadly, Hubby is on lots of medication. 13 tabs a day if I'm correct. I don't feel even a small lager or glass of wine would be in his best interests. Would just love to treat him.
There is a note on his door re food and a note in the kitchen. An apology via email. Unfortunately, today, he didn't want his meal anyway.
Hi Pet, it's good that the staff are now cutting up his food for him, but interesting that even when it's done, he doesn't always want to eat it. My father lost his appetite for proper meals over the last couple of years and virtually lived on tea, biscuits, cake and chocolate as he lost interest in savoury foods. The craving for sweet things seems pretty common with dementia and really I can't see the harm in indulging him if it keeps his calories up.

As for the tablets clashing with booze... Maybe check it out with the GP? You might find he can drink in moderation, but you'd have to bring the booze in as the home won't buy it for him. I took beer supplies in for Dad and the carers would let him have one or two each evening, it helped to placate him. In the end he lost interest in it, when the sweet cravings took over.

Another idea might be to try him on Schloer - there are several different flavours and served in a wine glass it might pass for sweet wine, to someone with dementia.

It's very hard watching them decline, but sometimes small treats can perk them up a bit. Dad enjoyed ice cream over the last few years, which he never previously liked. I used to take him for a drive and park up by the sea, then get him a large ice cream, which he would eagerly demolish, like a small child. :D The weather is set to be unusually warm on Monday - would you and/or your family be able to take him to the seaside and treat him to an ice cream?
936 posts