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Carers UK Forum • New to Carers UK Online
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New to Carers UK Online

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:25 am
by NellieJ
Hello - new to this. My current situation is that I am primary carer to: mother with early dementia, brother with paranoid schizophernia and my partner has terminal cancer with likely under a year to live. Only one other relative who I only hear from when the police contact me. No children and no other blood family. Lots of Friends but feeling a bit hemmed in by caring for others.

Re: New to Carers UK Online

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 12:10 pm
by helena_1512
No wonder you are feeling hemmed in. You have far too much on your plate. Are you getting any outside help at all? I am sure others can give far better advice but if you have a local carers group contacting them would be a start. I would also go and see my GP if I were you and at least get my concerns on file - you just cannot be expected to cope long term. A year is a long time to care for your partner and you do not need the additional caring responsibilities too.


Is there any chance you could have a few days away? Could you ask friends for help. Pay a cleaner to take some of the burden away?

Re: New to Carers UK Online

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 12:20 pm
by bowlingbun
That's too much for anyone. Your partner must be your top priority.
Are mum and brother getting any outside help?
(I'll be back later, off to a meeting in a few minutes!)

Re: New to Carers UK Online

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 11:32 am
by Stephanie_1502
Hi Nellie

I resonate with your feeling so much. I feel totally overwhelmed with my current caring situation. I have 3 kids, 1 with schizophrenia (he is in supported accommodation, but still relies heavily on us out of hours) and 2 with a severe form of arthritis that at times affects their mobility. I am trying to hold down a full time job too, and it is absolutely exhausting, probably more so emotionally and mentally than physically. As soon as one situation calms down, another seems to kick off, and I feel like I am on a never ending merry-go-round of hospital appointments and mini-crisis. The only way I am keeping my head above the water at the moment is by paying for a private counsellor and taking the odd week off work here and there for "stress at home".

I wholeheartedly recommend venting on here and batting about some ideas on how to survive - sometimes the old adage of a problem shared does offer some relief.

Take care