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New to being a carer - Carers UK Forum

New to being a carer

Tell us a bit about yourself here.

I am a mother and carer to my wonderful, lovable baby boy who's now 14 months old, born with down syndrome. I have an older son who's 20 years old so because of the gap i feel like a new mother altogether coupled with my new role as a carer. My husband is also disabled with a long term illness, so basically I have an adult and a child to look after Image There are tough times which I had never anticipated, times when I had to be strong but inside im trembling and scared. Sometimes I lost touch with myself, forget to comb my hair, hate to look at myself in the mirror as I hardly have time to take care of myself, I know I look very old for my age and its reach a phase that I just dont care how I look anymore. My main concern is that both my husband and my child are well looked after, afterall, if im feeling like this, just imagine what they must be going through. Im glad i got that out, thanks all for listening Image
Hi Zebada and welcome Image
You'll find we are a helpful, friendly lot Image
Hello Image You must be really proud regarding what you have been able to achieve. I am very impressed by your account tho I am quite sure its been really tough on you. Personally tho, I just wish you maybe took a little more care of yourself too - I dont mean to be rude when I say that its just that 'us carers' are good at putting others first and sometimes we do neglect ourselves which I feel is a pity. Having said that, I dont plan looking at myself in the mirror tonight in case I get a nasty shock !

Welcome and I'm sure you'll find everyone helpful and supportive here. Some of us are a bit strange mind you. Can you cope with that ???

Robert Image
Hello , welcome to the forums.

I care for my 10 yr old who has global delay and Autism. He was born with a lots of medical problems so was in and out of hospital for the first 4 yrs, dont think my feet touched the floor Image .

Hope you settle in here, lots of lovely people to welcome you x
Hi and welcome.Hope you find the Forum useful and fun. Image Image Image
HI Zebada hope I spelt it right lovely name gosh that's a lovely name.

A big age gap between your boys. There's only 18 months between my 2 girls.

Charlotte my youngest is 8 and has autism and global developmental delay and has been under many Dr's and health prof's certainly these last 4 years.

I was 34 and 35 when I had my girls and I do blame myself and my age that I was an older mum when Charlotte was born. Could my age have been a contributer to Charlotte's autism? Sometimes I feel so guilty about it.

I also care for my mum who is 80 now a widow my stepdad died last May of MND. Mum had a stroke 3 and a half years ago, her mobility is poor now and she has the onset of demetia, and can be quiet cantankorous!!

Rather like yourself I care for an older person and a younger person. And the negleecting yours elf thing I know I've let myself go before piled on the weight can't be bothered to even wash my hair let alone brush it went to see my Dr who gave me anti depressants when your self esteem is so low.

But remember you are IMPORTANT!! and to take care of yourself is important too. I joined Weightwatcher's last week to shift the weight, when the weather gets better I shall start going on bike rides and swimming plus I walk everywhere hopefully that'll help.

Anyway take care .

Liz x.
Sorry back again I had to rush off to collect Jessica who's 10 from middle school. She is non special needs a lovely girl and is a great help when Charlotte is having one of her tantrums or episodes , she can calm Charlotte down.

Anyway I've had issues with my body and self worth, for instance I've got bag's under my eyes from many a sleepless night the weight issues my tummy it's still a jelly belly from having my babies and cellulite ugh it's disgusting!! And stretchmarks although sometimes I look at those and think their lifelines from having the children.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is you are special and good and important please please remember Image that. Image

Sprry I've now lost about 4 pounds on w.wtchers, that has definately given me a boost

Look after yourself. Take care.

Sending lots of hugs )()()()())()())())()()()() and smiles

Liz x.
Hi all, thanks so much for the kind messages and encouragement, it really lifted up my spirit, quite overwhelming and touching Image Im so glad I joined. This is a start to a lovely beginning, dont feel isolated anymore. I will try to find time to beautify myself again, if possible, first target is my hair, its going all the wrong directions and grey hair peeping out from all corners Image I had no time for a haircut since my son was born, its length has reached my bum now lol....!!

May God bless you all and give you strength always.
Hi Zebada and pleased to hear you sounding much brighter. Excellent. Thats what we are here for. Image Let us know what happens in the hair department !

Hi Zebada,
I went through a similar bad patch when my son was little. He was brain damaged at birth, with a brother 2 years older, and we were trying to restore a cottage from a dump to a palace. I was in jeans and sweatshirt constantly, such a shame looking back. You should have been put in touch with some specialists to help with your son - find out if there is a local playgroup where you can leave him - we had an Opportunity Group - then promise yourself that the time on your own will be devoted to you. If you can find a local mums group that would be immensely useful too. Good luck.