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New, looking after mum - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

New, looking after mum

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I think mum needs a lecture about pulling her weight and doing her bit to help the family. Explain that if she doesn't then there is fast going to be a time when you caring for her is going to be impossible. She's had her life, and you need one away from caring too. The more you do the more she's going to expect it. Would you describe her as self centred? Is this new, or has she always been like this? I found it really difficult to say no to mum until I had counselling, but there have to be times when my needs come first. If she rings you when you are out with friends, don't answer it. Give her your brother's number and tell her to ring him instead if she needs anything urgently. Has she got a Lifeline? If not, arrange one through your local council, she ought to have one anyhow. Then if she's desperate for something, she can tell them, but I bet she won't. You have the rest of your life to consider, for goodness sake don't be a doormat. Otherwise, when you are old and grey you'll wonder where your life went. Take care.
After a discussion with my brother yesterday whilst walking round the DIY store she was given the lecture by him and as he was home today he got her to make an appointment with her consultant which is now booked for tomorrow. I wouldn't say self centred just sometimes it seems she can't be bothered to get up and do things which I'm pretty sure she could do, part of my brother's lecture was telling her she needs to get up and walk so her joints don't stiffen too much. We know the pain can be pretty bad but a walk to the kitchen now and then would do her good.
She has a lifeline, one of the fall sensor ones that go round your wrist like a watch, she hasn't been wearing it but it is back on her wrist now.
I'll make sure I go straight out from work next time I'm asked to go instead of touching base at home first
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Sounds like things are heading in the right direction for you. Going out straight from work, rather than going home first, sounds like a good idea, especially with a phone set on silent. Well done.