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Newbie - Carers UK Forum

Newbie

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
My name is Katrina, I live on the south coast, on the edge of the New Forest with my partner who is in kidney failure and having dialysis at home.

I have felt very unsupported, and now fully understand the term I have often used of the 'invisible carer'. Although I have friends and a small family, I feel very alone :(

As probably is the case for most if not all of you, we have been isolating for the last 2 years, I made the decision to lower my defences slightly a few weeks ago, meet friends for coffee etc, as safely as possible, then caught covid for the first time. As much as I tried to isolate in the house my partner did catch it from me and was very angry at me for bringing covid into the house.

I feel very torn. For the sake of my mental health I need to continue to meet face to face with people and rejoin society, being a people person I have really missed this. For the sake of his physical health I need to protect him from covid. such a difficult path.

Would love to link in with any groups or individual in my area or in similar circumstances to myself, for coffee, walks, dog walks, chats, laughs and tears

Katrina
Hi Katrina, I'm also in the New Forest. My son is 43, has severe learning difficulties due to brain damage at birth. He lives in a flat 15 miles away, comes home regularly, I'm always doing things for him.

Have you been in touch with Carers Together, Love Lane, Romsey?
They arrange various events through the year, so do the Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Andover.

Have you asked Social Services for a Needs Assessment for your husband, and a Carers Assessment for yourself?
Katrina I am in a similar situation to yourself. My husband is 83 and very vulnerable.

I started going out the last few months, wearing a mask and avoiding crowded places and only socialising with people that I know well. But yesterday I tested positive. I would say frankly that YOUR mental health is important as who will care for your husband if you sink into clinical depression? So I personally feel he has no right to be angry with you as we cannot live forever in a total vacuum. You really have to care for yourself before you can care for another person.

I agree with regard to contacting your local carers centre - I had a telephone befriender who used to be a carer and that was a great help.
Hello Katrina

Firstly welcome to our forum I am sure you will find others on here who will understand the isolation you are experiencing and the need to meet with others face to face.

Whilst we can't put you in touch with other carers in your area, we do have several weekly online meets up that you might like to consider, they might bridge the gap until you find groups locally you can join. Please have a look at the links below and see if you would like to come and join any of the sessions where you can talk to other carers.

Care for a Cuppa:
This social is a great way to have a little break if you are able to and spend some quality time talking to people who understand what you are going through right now.
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... ne-meetups

The other sessions are Share and Learn, these sessions range from creative writing activities to beginners Latin dance sessions.
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... e-sessions

Please do think about joining us, a lot of carers have said they found the sessions supportive, there's no pressure to share anything you're not comfortable with.

with kind regards
Ingrid
Thank you everyone for your responses, I will reply individually - I think I can only do that by private message.

I have booked in to one of the zoom meetings, working full time makes it difficult as I have a regular 3-5pm meeting on a monday