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New here, but struggling with caring - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

New here, but struggling with caring

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Thank you Everyone! Its very useful advice, you have given me! I never had to look/help someone let alone with physical and mental problems. Yes I will say that in the next meeting about this. The leave hasn't gone well either, she does need 24/7 care and cannot be left alone for literally 5 min. Due to mentally being so unstable and volatile.

I noticed you guys asked me how I ended up looking after her, physically she isnt too bad, thats easy to manage. Mentally the nicest way to put this I have never seen anyone as bad as this. Currently on section 3, her section 2 is finished. She is a half sister, she got a different mother, so she lived her teenage years with her mother. At 18, my sister begged me to take her on, she always asked to live with me, but I was a student so couldnt help at all. I agreed last year, just because none of the family is willing to look after her, other than her mother who caused much of these mental health problems. When I picked her up she was already in psychosis, it just took 3 days to get a bed at the hospital. She had no record of any mental problems thats why I had to take her 3x to a and e so she can get admitted.

How she managed before that I will never know. She did go a long way from where she was. (Basically my 2 year old dog had a better life than my 18 year old sister). Like her soul is broken and gone.

Like some of you mentioned, what if something happens to me, yes that might be a big issue, my lungs and heart arent the best, this stress isnt doing me much good either. I will take your advice on board, thank you again.
Surely she is simply "unfit for discharge" at the moment?
Before she goes anywhere they must stabilise her and then maintain that stability.
Yasmin_2203 wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 8:04 pm
Thank you Everyone! Its very useful advice, you have given me! I never had to look/help someone let alone with physical and mental problems. Yes I will say that in the next meeting about this. The leave hasn't gone well either, she does need 24/7 care and cannot be left alone for literally 5 min. Due to mentally being so unstable and volatile.

I noticed you guys asked me how I ended up looking after her, physically she isnt too bad, thats easy to manage. Mentally the nicest way to put this I have never seen anyone as bad as this. Currently on section 3, her section 2 is finished. She is a half sister, she got a different mother, so she lived her teenage years with her mother. At 18, my sister begged me to take her on, she always asked to live with me, but I was a student so couldnt help at all. I agreed last year, just because none of the family is willing to look after her, other than her mother who caused much of these mental health problems. When I picked her up she was already in psychosis, it just took 3 days to get a bed at the hospital. She had no record of any mental problems thats why I had to take her 3x to a and e so she can get admitted.

How she managed before that I will never know. She did go a long way from where she was. (Basically my 2 year old dog had a better life than my 18 year old sister). Like her soul is broken and gone.

Like some of you mentioned, what if something happens to me, yes that might be a big issue, my lungs and heart arent the best, this stress isnt doing me much good either. I will take your advice on board, thank you again.
Ah so being a half sister, it's not so close as growing up together.
She needs 24/7, you cannot give her 24/7 at home.

I hope you have seen Bowlingbun's post above.
As your sister is only 18, when did she last attend school or college?
She should be entitled to more full time education.
Has anyone considers this?
I was advised to keep my son in education as long as possible. He left college at 22, as a young man able to look after himself and his belongings so much better than when he left residential school at 19, where he had a key worker to support him for everything. In fact he learned a lot and matured a lot between 20 and 30.
It is just a suggestion but your sister is so very young and surely should be getting more support so is it worth contacting the MIND helpline? They are a mental health charity. I totally agree that you must not have your sister living with you however much you love her, and want to support her. It does sound as if she has been let down very much by the NHS but it is not up to YOU to pick up the pieces, all you can do is try to offer a safety net by getting help put in place for her. If she has been sectioned, then frankly she will need more help than you can give however caring you are. (and btw you come over as mega caring). Wishing you all the very best and please let us know how this progresses.
Thank you all again! We did get for her a place in a rehabilitation hospital, where she will be taught independence. I am not sure about all the details, but I am aware she will be taken out, into the community and to college by the staff there and will get taught life skills like cooking and keeping herself safe. Its been a lot more help since I said those words to the hospital that I cannot and will not look after her in this state. Tomorrow fingers crossed is transfer day. :D :D :D
Good news.
Yasmin_2203 wrote:
Mon Mar 28, 2022 9:02 pm
Thank you all again! We did get for her a place in a rehabilitation hospital, where she will be taught independence. I am not sure about all the details, but I am aware she will be taken out, into the community and to college by the staff there and will get taught life skills like cooking and keeping herself safe. Its been a lot more help since I said those words to the hospital that I cannot and will not look after her in this state. Tomorrow fingers crossed is transfer day. :D :D :D
That's great for both of you.

What then after her rehabilitation?
Where does she go once she has those skills?
Will she be in assisted accommodation or are they expecting you to take her home?

You have a great result and you have time on your hands for social worker and needs assessments to get your sister in assisted accommodation for her to have her independence.
Not sure what happens after this rehab hospital, but she is still sectioned till July, still in a hospital and is currently on observations by 2 staff at all times. Extremely suicidal for the past month. I honestly doubt she will be out of hospital this year.
I am going to listen to all of your advice and let her get her own life. Its better for everyone involved.
We are here whenever you feel the need for support. It's been a very stressful few months for you. I hope you can now manage to take a short break.