New here

[Helen_2001]

Hi my name is Helen. My partner has panic attacks, an anxiety disorder, depression and agoraphobia. He has been really bad and off work since the week before Christmas. I have been home with him, not left his side. We have the mental health team coming out twice a week. I'm just really struggling, dont know who to talk to.

[sunnydisposition]

Hi Helen

Was there a particular event that trigger this current situation. If you are off work is that putting more pressure on you.

What happens if you leave his side?

[Helen_2001]

Hi. My partner has had panic attacks since he was a child. He has had a lot of stress over the past couple of years, but hasn't talked to me, which has made me feel guilty. I lost my job, more guilt. Plus added stress. He has had thoughts of ending it so that's why I havent left his side. He forgets to take his medication. Plus we have our 21 and 24 year old living with us and if he has another bad attack I dont want them to have to deal with it.

[thara_1910]

Hello and welcome!

Can he be sectioned under the MH Act 07 or not?

[Helen_2001]

No he is now getting the help he needs.

[sunnydisposition]

So it's help that you need. Have you made any contact with MIND UK. Do the children have any one else to speak too.

Do you see yourself as a carer. If you do you need to have a carers assessment. Do you feel resentful because you have lost your job. What was your job? Do you still see you work colleagues? It's important to stay connected. Keep as much as you can of the outside world. Your children are adults even though they are still your children. They can also speak independently to MIND UK.

Will the lose of income affect the family. I 'll assume the young adults are contributing financially.

Having stress with added finances is not good.

[Helen_2001]

Its minds matter he was told to contact. They are ringing him on wednesday. He will be going for cbt.
Things were really bad around new year, he ended up in hospital twice and nearly a 3rd time. After he started all his medication things started to get better. Now they are weaning him off one tablet things seem to be getting worse again.
I'm not sure if I see myself as a carer. I'm sorting his meds, making sure he has bits to eat and drink, trying to take him out so he isnt stuck in the house day in day out.
I feel resentful about my job because I loved it. I worked at a doggy daycare. I loved the dogs and made some really good friends. It was the boss, she was addicted to pain killers. She was taking full packets at a time. Then having seizures. One of the last times I had to do CPR on her she had stopped breathing. Baring in mind there was usually 40+ dogs and just me, my son and her. I ended up running the place. I couldn't cope in the end because even after the CPR she carried on doing it. Once she broke her wrist, smashed her cheek bone to bits and had bleeds on her brain. I just couldn't handle it. So yes I feel resentful but towards her for putting me in this position.
My son brings money in, my daughter is volunteering at a friends dog daycare, her boyfriend lives with us and he brings money in. I volunteer at my friends daycare to, she was one of my customers and she knew all what was going on and wanted me to work for her, but it hasn't took off quit as well as we had hoped.
Right now I'm worried sick every morning, dreading the day ahead, I feel exhausted, just feel like crying. The home team from the mental health come yesterday and asked me how I'm coping so I told them and they offered me help. Plus they are coming wednesday with someone who knows about benefits and what help money wise we can get. At the minute my partners boss is being fantastic, he came out to see him and was very understanding.

[Helen_2001]

Not very much support on here so will find something else

[thara_1910]

Are you seeing a counsellor or not?

[L_2001]

Hi Helen,
I'm new here too. I cared for my mother until she died in November.
I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and I can tell you that though stress can make the attacks more frequent some times they simply strike out of the blue. Having a professional that you can burden with your problems does help, it also allows you to talk about your worries without laying more stress on those you live with and I speak as the anxiety sufferer here. Perhaps you should get your sons into the mental health discussion, if your husband knows that it won't freak them out then he will feel less stressed about the whole issue, we load ourselves with anxiety about being anxious or having a panic attack so changing the narrative can help, if he can say we all understand this then he can stop worrying about how the boys will react, yes I've done CBT and it helps usually until something knocks you down and then you need a refresher.

Hope that helped