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Hello all my name is Kim.
I have just found the Carers UK website after picking up a leaflet during one of my husband many varied medical appointments. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed as I have become my husbands carer. He had a heart attack and a stroke 1 month apart and he is doing well in the circumstances. He is up and around but it has been a strain since April. I was not really prepared for the mood swings that he gets. Especially his anger, I can't challenge this behaviour I just have to cope with it.
I am lucky he is as good as he is, he can't drive and he can't always remember things and then gets frustrated so not too bad.
But I was left with him at home and very little help, especially at first.

No one seems to think that I may have a need for help. I am suffering from depression myself and have not been able to go to work since April as I cannot leave him.

I have only just found out I can ask for a Carers Assessment.

I would like to help to make sure that the carer gets more support in this initial phase, has anyone any suggestions of anything I can do?
Very quick welcome, as I'm just dashing - others will be here soon.

Sounds like you were given zilch when he was discharged. Glad you have now found out (not just about us here!) but Carers Allowance, but also check out Attendence Allowance.

How much post-stroke therapy is he getting? From what I understand, performance can improve as the brain can 'heal' a little.

The anger issue is tricky. It's fine to let him 'indulge' ....up to a point. But there comes a point when sorry, his condition is NOT your fault, and he would be totally stuffed without you - so you are NOT there to be the whipping boy for what has happened to him!

As a general point, this is 'tough but true' (alas!) - life in general we' get the behaviour we put up with'. The more you tolerate his anger 'for his sake' the less necessity he has to control it....

Sorry this is a bit quick - as I say, others will be here shortly I am sure. Regards, Jenny
Hello Kim and welcome to the forum
Sad to read your husband has had a stroke and heart attack. My lovely husband is in a nursing home because of strokes and vascular dementia. When he was in the stroke ward, I witnessed, not only with him, but other patients, anger, and frustration, and families saying it's was as though they had changed personality. Sadly that is common. I would recommend you contact the stroke association, as I found them very helpful (this was before the Dementia was diagnosed).
It's very very difficult for you, I really understand that, but, in all probability, your husband doesn't mean to be awkward.
I do hope you can get some support you need.
Kind regards.