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New Carer with anxiety - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

New Carer with anxiety

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I am on the tenancy but not joint tenant.
If mum is entitled to Direct Payments, did anyone explain to mum how the system works?
Does she have someone handling the payments for her?

Please establish what would happen to you when mum dies or moves into residential care. It's really important.
That's one bullett dodged ... DPs to a family member ... the mere thought makes me growl !

And a second ... no problems with " Succession " ?

Trouble is , there are more bullets in the chamber.

6 numbers for Wednesday's draw , Nadine ... ?

You're on a roll !
Hi Nadine
Even though you area full time carer to three other people and yourself, it is still ok to say "No" to some things at some times. Saying "Not now "is also ok too.
Practice saying each of them out loud
You are now the one in charge, you set the timetables and the limits. You need to see yourself as the Care Manager not the skivvy.
You look at what needs doing everyday, you then put aside anything that isn't needed to be done that day (i.e. prioritise) and you learn to delegate. There will be some task that partner can do, some that daughter can and some that Mum can.
You have to explain to everyone that this is a joint enterprise and all have to pitch in.
Ditch any high standards of housework, good enough is enough.

In your timetable put some "me time"where you have at least an hour a day for you to do something just for you, even if that is to just sit, but better to go for walk or for coffee or to a class

Yes, these first days will have felt like a whirlwind, but you now have the chance to take control. Don't do everything for everyone else you will break either physically or mentally

Feeling stronger emotionally will help you arrange the help you need

We are here to support you
Kr
MrsA