New carer lonely and trouble coping

[BarefootJax]

Recently my mum was diagnosed with Small Blood Vessel Disease of the brain and spinal stenosis.
Although my mum lives with my dad he is unable to care for her completely as he has his own health issues.
So, although I live 3.5 miles from my mother I go in several times a week to help her. I cook some meals for them and do hygene/health related things as well as anything else they need. I am on constant 'call' for them incase my mum suffers a seizure and has to go into hospital again. I do not have a car so rely on public transport as I live away from my parents, so it costs me a fortune every week getting in to see them.
I have my own health issues and my teenage son has Aspergers and I am a single parent. I am on income support although do not claim anything as being a carer etc. I don't know much about it all as I am new to being a carer. It has been very emotional recently with my mum's sudden health decline and I find it hard coping. I would do anything for my mum because I love her so much. She could never be a burden to me but I do feel alone and like there is no-one there for me.
I feel so lost and new to all of this. Looking forward to checking out Carers UK. God bless! x

[Myrtle]

Hi Jax and welcome

[no1mum]

Hi and a warm welcome from me.

[Duncaring]

Hi Jax

Welcome to the forum!

I think you should apply for Carer's Allowance although if your son with Aspergers has DLA and you are claiming Carer's Allowance for him you will not get 2 Carer's Allowances. If you already have CA and Income Support you could apply to have your transport costs in your Income Support. To get Carer's Allowance for your mum shold would have to be on DLA or Attendance Allowance depending on her age.

Hope you enjoy the forum

Little Lamb

[reddy246174]

Hi, welcome to the forum. Keep posting here even when you don't feel like people will care. They will.

And I know it feels selfish but you have to look after yourself, eat as well as you can, relax when you can. if you're not fit and well then you won't be able to help as much as you'd like.

Ed

[Caring_Mind]

Hello Jax, welcome to the Forum - I hope it will make you just a little bit less lonely and isolated. I used to care for my mother, too - and my son also suffers with aspergers. Luckily he is quite independent. Mum died not long ago so I don't have to care like I did, but just wanted you to know that I do understand the feelings you have xx

[ali123]

Hi and welcome
I look after my mum too who lives on her own, so I help out with all the practical stuff and am the one on call for any problems- you do feel you are pulled all ways with a family to sort out too.
good advice already given about looking into what money you and your mum are entitled to-it makes life easier
best wishes to you and your family
Ali

[rosemary]

Hi Jax,

If you find time take a look at this link to Carers UK information pages . There is a menu down left hand side taking you to further advice.

Hope you find the forum of benefit to you. Any questions just holler, usually someone around to help

x x