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New and finding my way round. - Carers UK Forum

New and finding my way round.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hello, I've only just recently learned how to use my laptop and thought I'd join this forum to help me feel less alone as a carer. I am 46 and my wonderful husband is 77. we have been married 14 years but it is only recently I have have become his carer (willingly and with love) as he has severe arthritis, copd and asbestosis. I still work full time as at the moment I have to, but I work nearby and my boss is very understanding about my situation if hubby is ill. Because of our age-gap marriage, we talked about the possibility of my being his carer before we got wed, and so were prepared for that eventuality as much as we could be but some of the pressures are difficult as I frequently am up at night with him then get up for work the next day. I feel slightly guilty writing this, when I am so happy with him and I know others face far worse problems than me, but it helps ease the pressure talking to others in the same boat. Especially as we don't go out as much now, as hubby is too unwell too travel far too often. Hubby is mostly cheerful and undemanding, but gets "down moods" where is is frustrated he cannot be as active as he used to be. This I find difficult to deal with as i am still trying to cope also with the loss of my mum last year.
Knowing that I am not alone in my situation could, at times, be the difference between madness and sanity!!!!!!
Hallo Phoebe and welcome.

You have certainly got a lot on your plate at the moment, what with working full time, caring for your husband and still grieving for your mum. There is no need to feel at all guilty about anything you have written. Talking about the possibility of caring is one thing, actually finding yourself in that position is quite another.

Can you find some "me" time? all carers need this. A time to relax and re-charge your batteries is required. Im sure you have already done things like cutting down housework, but sit down and work out what would make life easier if you didnt have to do it - and then work out how you could ditch it. Does it have to be done? Could you get someone else to do it? Could you do stuff on-line?

Have a look around the site. Im sure you will see that you are not alone, and post wherever you like.
Hi Phoebe and welcome Image Im india and i care for my mum Image
Dont worry your certainly not on your own! Try not to worry about feeling guilty, We all love our carees dearly, but sometimes we all have to let off a little steam! You have got so much going on with your hubby and still grieving for your mum.
You will find a lot of help and support on the forum Phoebe Image
Your doing very well on your laptop! Image
Hi Phoebe, welcome to the forum. Caring can be a roller coaster of emotions at times, we all have good days and bad days. Getting a bit of "me" time is so important, time to recharge your batteries, especially as you are working.
Image Thank you to all of you for your encouragement and support. I can feel the pressure easing already.Me time certainly now high on the agenda, and I am going to visit my sister for the day in 2 weeks which I am really looking forward to. There has been so much going on lately and I know that I am my own worst enemy as I always feel that I have to be all things to everybody and that makes me worried and anxious as it just can't be done. But now things have settled down a bit, I am learning to relax. Thank you again. Image
Hi, glad you feel a little better today Image
hi and welcome
A warm welcome from me to Phoebe. Good to have you on board and I'm sure that the support and friendship you find in the forum will help you greatly. Join in as and where you want.

Bell x
Welcome from me too!
Hi Phoebe and welcome Image