Vicky, I don't know who is trying to make you feel guilty, whether it's your husband or Social Services, or both, but they are wrong. Your own health, mental as well as physical, is really important now, everyone should understand that. If his illness gets worse, which I understand is a possibility having looked it up, respite of some form is going to be almost inevitable. I hope you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to. If in doubt, ring the Carers UK helpline. If you are finding it difficult to keep up with all the house and garden jobs, this is the time to be ruthless. Soon after my husband died suddenly I was disabled in a car accident. I had to be absolutely ruthless with my half acre garden, previously maintained by my husband. The fruit trees and the flower borders all went. Now my sons give it a quick whizz round with the mower, job done. I still have flowers, in pots on a new patio, they are in large "vegetable" troughs, so I can tend them without kneeling down. I have a dishwasher and a washer/dryer. No more shelves with ornaments. So much easier to look after, wish I'd done it years ago.
