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Needing help - Page 5 - Carers UK Forum

Needing help

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195 posts
Sometimes exploding after remaining cool and polite gets results!!
How are you today?x
Hi pet66 thanks i feel bit disheartened today hubby had a bad night and not too good today either i am beginning to think of a quote my mam used to say "Them who shout loudest always get more" believe it could possibly be right.Hope you ok take care :) xx
AAARGH that is me screaming i have just been told by my son you are a little to direct with my dad sometimes i just dont get it how because dad consumes me 24 hours a day and sometimes i have to be direct because it feels non stop with him but they do not seem to get it that i give them credit if they spend a little time with dad but i get nothing but you should or should not do this WHY? :angry:
Have you read The Care Act? You are entitled to help and support from Social Services, so make absolutely certain you get EVERYTHING going. Most of all some sort of respite on a regular basis so you can get away from it all and find yourself again. It really shouldn't matter whether or not you have a diagnosis, because the important consideration is what you both NEED.
Thanks bowlingbun i will be back on the phone to them tomorrow lets see who has not turned in this time or who has not got the message that was passed on from the last phone call :roll: When i eventually get a visit i am asking everything do you know that is another thing that is said to me numerous times by the individual "With not having a diagnosis its complicated" AND is that it like we are just invisible until my hubby is given a label then we can be taking seriously I want to shout it is happening NOW regardless of which way you look at the situation as you maybe can guess i am fed up :(
Type up a list which you give to them explaining every single thing you do for him. Also, make sure you have the email address of the person who visits. Then, if necessary, you can email him/her every single day until they do something, and forward copies to the LA Complaints Officer and the head of the Social Services Committee if reqd. Keep printed copies of all emails in a ring binder, as evidence. Highlight relevant bits. War has been declared! Sadly, it's the only to get anything done, however much you feel "It shouldn't be like this".
Thanks once again bowlingbun good advice i have now resorted to writing all and sundry down even if it is for my own sanity i must say today took hubby out for a drive along the coast stopped a while to watch the world go by and all he did was moan about how his back/legs and anything else was aching sitting in this car we had not been out literally even 20 minutes so home again we came i was really annoyed over this it is like what ever he feels he dont like is met with complaints straight away resulting in him getting to come home to the same four walls again i know it may feel like his security blanket but to me it feels like torture as all i want is to see the outside world for a little while and in my head i thought why me are these feelings being selfish on my part/am i a terrible person for feeling angry? :(
Susan. You are certainly not a terrible or selfish person! Of course it's frustrating when you have to cut short something you felt was going to be good for you both. Anger is part of the situation. Part of ambiguous grief I'm afraid. I'm angry sometimes of being robbed of retirement with my husband. Dementia has robbed me. I know others on the forum will feel the same because of situations. It comes and goes
Thanks pet66 yes it was awful feeling that way but as you said part of it because a bit later on he asked me why i was sad and said he didnt mean to be like this it was like a shot in the heart i cried yet again that is the hardest thing about all of this being robbed as you say it must be terrible for you thinking of all the things you and your hubby had planned together now taken away it makes me so angry towards this condition for everyone dealing with the outcome my love to you and take care x :)
Hi yet again did my usual of phoning ASS because still no phone call which i estimate is the 7th time of ringing them lo and behold only to be told sorry it has not been picked up yet but i did pass the message on well of course you are not to blame but could i just say when someone insists that it is urgent what is the interpretation that the professionals have of URGENT you are dealing with a vunerable/fragile human here I read on your website about how things are changing in the care sector wonderful ideas for 2016 yet where are all these promises to me when i phone day in day out and told not today thankyou well i am now waiting for a senior practioner to ring back so i can put my grievances forward after resorting to if i dont get someone or something done i am complaining to the head of SS now i will see if i get that promised call back or will i have to ring myself yet again to put all this forward What quality of care is this? As you may have guessed i am absolutely livid :mad: :angry:
195 posts