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Needing help - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Needing help

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195 posts
Hi just to let all of you know whom actually gave me the push to ask for help i have gotten in touch with Adult Social Services and they where really helpful and i am on root to getting some support so once again thanks ;)
Hi Susan, good to hear that things are going in the right direction. Make sure you ring again next Friday if nothing has happened, because you don't want promises, you want help. Keep in touch.
Thanks for that bowlingbun and no worries i will certainly not let this go and if i dont hear from them i am back on the phone again as i have decided not to just let every door i knock on be slammed in my face its got to be sorted once and for all i have my determination back i will let you know how it goes :)
Your LA should have details of the head of the Social Services Committee on their website, and all the members, complete with emails. Email all of them together next Friday if nothing has happened by then. They will then email the Complaints Officer with a "please explain" note, and he in turn will be fed up with all the emails and email the local office and tell them to get off their ... and SORT IT!
Thanks again bowlingbun for the information will definately act on it if needs be this is such a difficult situation and so hard to get any kind of help or support WHY? when i look at my husband i see a vunerable/fragile human and it breaks my heart, do these people not see that or is it the usual case he is just another person on there patient list i know it sounds like moaning but when you feel at wits end it seems like a good idea at the time i must say it has been a relieve and helpful to me joining this forum :)
Hi yet again another early rising, dont know what happened to the other post bit confusing anyhow i am just wondering if anyone can help/advise me on this syndrome called sundowners i have a little knowledge but was wondering if one of the behaviours is not being able to stay in one place or position as my husband seems to walk round and round the house all night i reckon he must have done some miles by the time early morning comes around and finally has some sleep any help would be appreciated :)
Morning Susan. Sundowning is a bit of a mystery. Experts feel it may be an imbalance in the chemicals of the brain. Those who have dementia become much more restless during the evenings when the sun starts to go down. We tend to start winding down for the evening. Dementia sufferers tend to wind up. It doesn't happen to all. Can you Google it?
However I would establish what is the cause of all of your husbands symptoms ASAP.
My husband had sundowning in the main hospital, he had severe UTI and delirium.
Sorry to hear you've had another very restless night
Hi pet66 i did google it and have more of an understanding now but it helps to know someone like yourself has been through similar things and you have just said exactly the same thing that occurred with my husband he actually developed this type of behaviour in the hospital while being treated for UTI and delirium and the odd behaviour has not stopped if anything it is progressing if you dont mind me asking how did they come to a diagnosis for your husband? :)
I don't mind at all.
We live in South Birmingham. My husband suffered a stroke in November Was admitted to the QE hospital.. At first it was thought a mild one. He had a scan,where it was discovered he had suffered a mild one previously,(long story that bit) and several mini strokes. His brain looked like several pin pricks in places. Eventually,when his symptoms were not improving he was admitted to an assessment type of hospital. It was a dementia ward for men . From there observations were made, medication was sorted, physio for his strokes was given. His mental state was declining rapidly.
He had delusions and aggressive outbursts. He never actually hit anyone but wanted to and threatened. Apparently his language was foul at times. My husband would never ever have used foul language to females in particular. He may have used some type of language in the pub with mates, but never ever inappropriately in front of family etc.
Like you I hated him being in the unit. Had no choice though.
He does have very complex needs. He is 71.
So my dear, I'm not sure my post is much help to you at the moment.
I feel though you may have to endure some sort of assessment unit for your husband, hate it or not, in order for a diagnosis to be made. Also not to be bullied into struggling on your own.
Luckily ( for want of a better word!) I wasn't bullied in any way. Was told firmly that it would be impossible for me to look after him. OT had been to our home previously to sort out needs and adjustments, but that was before the decline became rapid
I do pray that a diagnosis is established soon whatever the outcome,so you can adjust. It's a very hard long road you seen to be facing. I'm still struggling but getting there. We have to I'm afraid.
Hi pet66 your post has been very helpful to me and i recognise exactly very similar symptoms the confusing part is my husband is only 57 thats what i cannot seem to get my head round even the doctors have been puzzled in this fact as they say have not known it in a especially a male of my hubbies age so dont know if this is why i feel passed from pillow to post when dealing with different individuals i am so sad also for everyone else dealing with these situations but do feel a little bit sorry for myself and often it goes round and around in my head WHY? Thank you so much for taking time out to help and reassure me it makes some things bearable :)
195 posts