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Need advice please - Carers UK Forum

Need advice please

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Hi,

I am new on this forum but am struggling and need advice.
I am a single parent and have 2 lovely girls aged 9 yrs. I have always been very independant and have never received any financial/emotional help from my ex hubby.

I am now caring full time for my elderly father and also my mum. I asked them to move in with me in my house because i could not juggle going round theirs everyday.

Anyway, I thought i was ok and could cope with everything but lately for past couple of months i have not been sleeping well due to financial worries etc....
I was ok on my own as i could provide and meet my girls needs but I am having difficulty trying to keep my job. I got the sack just before Christmas this year because i was having more days off due to my fathers appointments. I have just got another job now and am worried the same will happen again. Although i am self emplyed i wont be able to pay the rent if ths keeps happening.
I have had a assesment for myself by Social services and they have agreed to pay 6 hours a week for care for my father to take him to his appointments but its tricky because the appointments are all scattered during the week. I cannot get someone on a regular basis and if i do it myself i be messing my clients round.

I am constantly having headaches and am not sleeping very well. I can't give my girls the time they need nor have we been for a holiday. I love my parents but i honestly dont know where to go from here. Any advice would be appreciated.

I have asked family for help in the past which i got but i cannot get it any more as this is a regular thing now
Hello Noreen
I can only give you some general support but I am
In a similar situation trying to juggle all my family needs wife an ill wife and elderly relatives who are becoming dependent.
Try and keep a note book with everything that needs to be done. What your doing at the moment is jumping from one problem to another with no clarity.
This will be worse when you go to bed and things go quiet. The authorities have
A lot to offer but they won't. They will expect you to ask and then give only as you become more knowledgable of what your entitled to. As a carer you can get loads of advice, respite for you and financial support. Start doing your home work. Research the web, talk to anyone in a position of knowledge ie CAB or similar. When your told oh know you can't do that or your not entitled, question it? Kids and older people can be demanding of your help. You must be firm with all if your running things. Everything will come together if you maintain your confidence. You live in a country where there is help and money.
Rgds Stevo
I wrote a detailed reply that's got lost, so here's a shorter one as the cocoa cools!
I think a few sheets of paper might help. One each for the advantages and disadvantages relating to:-
Housing - is it working being all in together? Have mum and dad given up their old house etc., do they need somewhere else to live.
Money/Benefits - have you had a Housing Benefit review, are mum and dad getting all their benefits, especially Attendance Allowance? Are they contributing enough financially to your household?
Health/Care - could they live in their own house with more help (Mum can live alone well although she can't even brush her own hair, thanks to a care package of carers coming in 3 times a day)
Children - are you able to devote enough time to them? Do they like having their grandparents around?
Work versus benefits - Do you qualify for Carers Allowance? Could you have set mornings/afternoons for clients, when mum and dad have definite care?
Only you can know what is right for your family. It's not a good idea to disclose too much information here, but we can help give bits of advice if you find a particular dilemma. Carers UK can give you advice and a confidential benefits check. Hope that helps.
Hi Noreen and welcome Image