Hello and welcome!
I have been in a very similar situation, albeit a long time ago. The difference was, I did not know my boyfriend at the time had LFA or Aspergers. His parents had never had him diagnosed. He was dyslexic-in fact he couldnt read or write beyond about a 3 year old level but he hid it so well, I didnt find out for 6 months! He had terrible mood swings and I never even knew why-it was like a switch had flipped. He tried to control what I wore, where I worked, who I saw, my friends and constantly accused me of cheating. He began hitting me after about a year and my confidence was at zero so I took it. Eventually I got out but he stalked me for ages...until he found a new girlfriend and I heard he was exactly the same with her. I only realised he was ASD years later. My father has Aspergers syndrome and was exactly like that with my mother until he left eventually and went into sheltered accomodation. My mum thought his syndrome was a physical illness-in the 60's no one really heard of it-he was diagnosed when he was in his early 60's. My brother has classic autism but isnt like that, he has other serious issues though and requires a lot of care from professionals.
I have 4 children, my 3 eldest all 'neuro-typical'. I used to worry and watch their development! thought I was safe but my youngest who is 10 is just like your partner and my ex boyfriend, At only 10, I fear for his future girlfriends already. All help I try to get for him is brushed away after one visit to CAHMS. He is a handsome boy and seems perfectly lovely and charming until that switch flips.
I am not sure what my point is other than to give you a little insight into the personality side of things. With my experience of my childhood where my dad flipped suddenly and we were all in fear of him (he was violent sometimes) and the same experience with my boyfriend (weird how I chose the same element of disorder eh?) and now my son, I am not sure you can change his tendancy to be like that-in fact I doubt it very much. He will not empathise with you, he won't know to care that he hurts you because he can't-it is inherent in his condition. As has been said, you can placate him, go along with it, don't disagree etc but the question you really need to ask yourself is this: how is this behaviour going to affect you? your mental and physical wellbeing? you really need to ask yourself some tough questions because if you are in this for the long haul, you will need support for you, not just him because it is going to be hard. Sorry but I believe that to be true.
I stayed with my ex boyfriend for nearly 3 years because I thought I could help him learn to read and I got him to go for counselling but he believed heart and soul that I was untrustworthy and he knew I was "more intelligent" so he persecuted and bullied me for that. He couldnt help it, I realise that now, but it doesnt make it any easier for us! Are you sure you want this for the long term? sorry if I am not saying what you want to hear but just speaking from my own experience, I hope yours is different-I really do