Hallo - I am new to the Forum.

[pattyp]

Please excuse me if I don't get the hang of this straight away. My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in May 2006, although I had noticed that he had had memory problems for about 2 years before that. We are retired and live in Kent. I am in regular contact with a local Carers support group and they are really helpful.
My husband doesn't remember things and doesn't know what has happened to him and I feel that I just can't accept what our life is now. I feel inadequate and mean when I snap at him and wish I could be a nicer person.
Reading others letters shows me that we aren't so badly off after all. Thank you. PP.

[Alexr115]

Welcome to the forum PP.

You shouldn't feel inadequate about things. We all snap, I sometimes snap at my caree (my fiance) when she hasn't done things i asked her to.

If you weren't a nice person I doubt you'd be providing care for your husband

[rosemary]

Hi PP,

Welcome to the forum where you will meet so many others who share the same feelings as yourself at times.If you get time take a look round the site too as so much information to be found.Any questions just ask,usually someone around to help.

Rosemary
x x x


.

[Guest]

Welcome from me too!

Paula xx

[pattyp]

Hallo.

Thank you for your responses to my first attempt at contact. I have already found lots of tips to help me deal with everyday problems. One thing - I hate being the "food monitor" - if I buy a bunch of bananas or grapes and put them out in a bowl I find that my husband will eat the lot in a day because he just doesn't remember eating them. I wonder if sometimes the dementia takes away the ability to know when you are full. Same goes for sugar, he was getting through a kilo in four days until I hid the packet and started rationing it.

Can't believe I hide food. He does have a weight problem though. I would feel cruel if I stopped buying sugar because I don't use it myself. I tried to get him using sweetener but he just put it in his coffee then added the sugar as well! Not the best of ideas.

from pp. x

[charles47]

Hi PattyP and welcome.

Your comments about forgetting he's just eaten are quite common where dementia's concerned, although most of the people I've come across find that they've forgotten to eat and don't recognise that they're hungry so much as feeling unsettled about something. Perhaps your husband doesn't recognise that he's full and eats because he things the unsettled feeling must be hunger?

[pattyp]

Hi PattyP and welcome.

Your comments about forgetting he's just eaten are quite common where dementia's concerned, although most of the people I've come across find that they've forgotten to eat and don't recognise that they're hungry so much as feeling unsettled about something. Perhaps your husband doesn't recognise that he's full and eats because he things the u
nsettled feeling must be hunger?

Thank you - this does seem like it might be the case. I just hadn't thought of it in that way.
I do try to imagine what it must be like to have no short term memory, but I can't really begin to. Too frightening.
from pattyp.

[charles47]

You're right. It is frightening - and all we can do is guess.

[bradstonian]

Hello I am new to the forum. This is a really good idea. Today, I think we all need as much support and encouragement as possible. Well, that's all for now.

[Matt Hill]

Welcome aboard Bradstonian!