[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
my well being - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

my well being

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi Martin
I don't post so often on here any more but I felt that I needed to reply to you as I was in almost the reverse position so I can really identify with you. I cared for my Dad with dementia for his last 10 years or so once he needed more help with various ailments. I lost my mother at a young age when I was 16 so the caring and responsibility fell my way.
I felt much less alone once I found this forum and realising that it is not just you can bea big boost when you are feeling so "singled out" for life's struggles .
You definitely need more back up support and need to prioritise yourself or you won't be able to deal with things when your mum's dementia worsens.

I completely agree that you need urgent revised care assessment and carer assessments done by separate appointments.
Is it just yourself and your mum at home- if so you can get 50 % off CTX by carer and smi disregards.
Have you got POA in place for health and finance?
Does your mum have mobility issues and does she need any special equipment- rising recliner chair, walking frame, grab rails, doorstep , bath seat etc . She may need a physio review. There will come a time when she finds it hard to get in your car to come with you so you need to plan ahead.
Now the important question- does your home belong to you or to your mum and if it is mum's how is it owned- privately or rented? This is important as you are under 60 should your mother ever need residential care before you reach 60 as the home could be used to pay for care if it is in your mum's name only and privately owned.
Thankyou Lizzy for youra very kind words of advice i am a lot better today
than yesterday from a very dark day yesterday the care company superviser call round to see my mother
and me they had concerns for me and have done a review of my mothers care package and advised me
discussed a lot of issues with me like putting in place some time out for me to go and do
what ever i like while a carer sits with my mother and doing some of the housework for me to
free up some time for me to clean the kitchen bathroom etc.
this i am sure will help i allready have a appointment next week to see the doctor for a cough i have had for a few
weeks will be nice to get to the bottom of it i hope it is nothing might just be down to stress hope so

Thankyou Lizzy and all of you for your very caring and loving
support its nice to know there are a lot of people out there that really care
kind regards martin.
Hi yes your right about clapped out old carer of 56
thankyou yes social services did a assessment 2 years ago
but will need updating
Yes i have been caring for my mother along time but you just get on with it
that's me
the care company have been to see me today and are going to
some extra duties like some house work etc.
which will help i am sure thankyou.
Really happy you feel better and are getting some extra help in. I hope it helps. Please come back and share at any time. There are many of us on here who have just got on with it and finally reached rock bottom. It is bloomin hard and there is no shame in needing support or more help.
The assessments should be reviewed annually, so yours is well overdue.
Hi Martin, really happy to hear that you're feeling better today. It's good that the carers will be taking on some extra responsibility which will give you a chance to have a break. You can find out about taking a break on our web page here: https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... ke-a-break

We're here for you whenever you need us.I hope things improve for you going forward.
Thankyou Sally for your kind words yes must keep strong and keep it together for my familys sake
must not go under will keep you updated about every thing
signing off for now
kind regards martin.
Hello thankyou every one who post me very kind messages and advice i will
in time reply to you all it is very nice to speak to other carers who
know what your going through i should have joined carers uk a long time ago
better late than never i say when i spoke the other day about a lot of things which you
all know about i forgot to mention i was very badly
let down by a person i had trusted and that nearly tipped me over the edge i felt as if
a door had been shut in my face
but you just have to deal with it looking forward to hearing from any advice other
people might have for me
signing off for now
kind regards martin.
Hi i thoughti was going to have a good day but things can quickley change
i think i just need to meet people my own age which is not very easy when your on the wrong
side of 50 you know 55
i would just like some one who is a carer like me around the same age
who looks after a love one who you can talk to who
you could say we could take the loved ones out for the day or a carers group cafe
where you can chat to other carers your own age so
you are not so isolated or lonely is there any thing wrong with that please tell me if
i am wrong.
Not wrong , Martin.

Turn the clock back 20 odd years ... I faced the same problem ... as a lone carer.

In short , if there are no avenues open locally , only one thing one can do ?

Create them ... note in gp surgery ... nowadays , even your food bank ... asking local carers to contact you.

By doing nothing , expect nothing in return ?