[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
My Mother is demanding attention - Carers UK Forum

My Mother is demanding attention

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi, this is my first time here so I am a little unsure. Has anyone any suggestions as to how I should deal with my 93 year old mother. She still lives alone, approx 2 hours from me. She is selling her house and coming to live with my husband and I. We are building her a bedroom, lounge and bathroom. When she is at her home she is constantly crying how lonely she is and she can't cope and wants to be with us, we go and collect her and then she demands all my attention when she is here! I work with my husband running his business and yet when I am not taking her shopping or out for lunch or coffee she gets into a mood and makes things very difficult. We have had lots of converstaions with her about making our home her home, and doing things she can, but she just wants to be waited on and entertained!! She is intermittently confused and has mood swings, but will not recognise this, although there are times when she mentions her 'nasty temper'. She was never a nasty miserable lady, and we do make many allowances for her age, her failing sight Image and possible mild dementia, but it is very difficult.
My Mum is almost 80 lives 5 mins from me and she is demmanding and sulks if I dont take her out daily as well! I also have a husband thats in ill health and a disabled daughter to care for. My Mum is slowly getting dementia after her stroke 6 years ago, you are a good daughter cos no way would I have my mum living here we would end up killing each other lol

Just remember you have a life as well, mind you I should take my own advice Image Image
Hello and a massive welcome I only joined yesterday an the support has been overwhelming. Keep talking and don't ever feel guilty for saying its hard. Always have you time as your special to x
hello and welcome
Hello Elizabeth and welcome to the forum.

I think that perhaps your Mum's 'moods' are due to her feeling lonely and isolated - as we age we hate to think that we can't do the things that we always used to do and then we get depressed; the depression then makes us feel isolated and we take it out on our nearest and dearest - bit of viscious cycle ! Hopefully once themove is made, and after a period of adjustment, your Mum will return to the happier person she was.

Perhaps enrolling her in a Day Centre would help ? She could make new friends and enjoy the activities that they offer which would take the pressure off you to 'entertain' her.

In the meantime do come back here when you feel a 'rant' coming on - we've all 'been there, done that' to one extent or another and we're very good listeners Image
Hello Elizabeth,

I just wanted to say it's nice to meet you Image

Keep talking - it's really helpful Image

Sezzie x