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My caring role has changed just recently. - Carers UK Forum

My caring role has changed just recently.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hello everyone,
I am Lena a shortened version of my first name. I am new on here and and looking forward to having companionship with other carers, I have been caring for my husband for over a year, when he had a total hip replacement, which was a great success and all seemed to be going very well for a few months.
He them became very ill with tinnitus, for about 6months. No cure for that, so we just battled on.
He has been a heavy drinker all his adult life, and despite all warnings to cut back he never did.
We both got a big shock when he became unwell in September with ascites, which is a serious complication of alcohol liver disease.
He has been in hospital recently and had 8 lts fluid drained from his abdomen, that went well and all the fluid build up has gone.
But now he has another very worrying complication due to alcohol intake, in that it has affected his brain, he is acting like he has dementia, forgetting the names of things, he gets agitated at the slightest little thing,I can't leave him on his own now as he does dangerous things, he is very difficult to manage. I just don't know who to turn to for help, he doesn't want to go back in hospital and I don't want him in either as I don't think there is very much they can do for him.
If anyone could offer any advice I would be most grateful.
Hi Lena and welcome to the forum Image

I'm moving your post to the New Members section so that more people will see you post and welcome you to our online family.
Hi Lena, just a quick welcome to the forum now, taking a coffee break amongst all the Christmas preparations, one caree with SLD home for Christmas. The other lives 6 miles away, we'll go and decorate her tree this afternoon. I don't know if you've had a "Carer's Assessment" or if your caree has had a "Needs Assessment" from Social/Adult services. These ought to have been done before your OH was discharged last time. Also investigate the Disability Living Allowance and the Carers Allowance - the main pages on the CUK site gives lots of information. Lots of others will welcome you later, evening is usually busy on the forum. Lots of help can be made available, but it's all a bit like Snakes and Ladders. Here you'll find people who have already met and dealt with similar challenges, who are happy to share their own experiences with you.
Hiya and a warm welcome to the forum.
Hi Lena and welcome Image
Hello Lena and welcome Image
Hello Lena and welcome to the forum.
Has your hubby had the alcohol dementia diagnosed? If not go to your GP and try to get him into a memory clinic. Once it has been formally diagnosed you can access help from other places. You may find the Alzheimers Society helpful as they deal with all types of dementia, not just Alzheimers.
I would like to thank everyone for the warm welcome you have given me, I appreciate you taking the time to write and am very open to any advice that you can give me.
My husbands mental state has gone into decline since he had the ascites drained, so I don't know if it's anything to do with that. His GP is not very helpful and said if he becomes agitated or agressive to give him Diazipam to calm him down, but I can't keep him drugged up every day, it's not the answer I want.
I had a psychologist examine him last week and after an hour of questioning he thought my husband was probably in the early stage of dementia. Well if this is the early stage I dread to think what the later stage is going to be like, I am finding it impossible to handle him now.
I have not contacted Carers yet as this is so recent, he is so weak in himself he cannot walk outside, so after the holidays I will try to get them to come in.
Last night he had a fall as he felt dizzy and is very confused this is another symptom of alcohol liver disease, I will bring a Dr out today and hopefully get him admitted to hospital.
I really don't want him to be in hospital over Christmas, but he is becoming a danger to himself and I don't feel I can look after him in these circumstances. He needs professional help.
Thanks once again to everyone for the advice you have given and for reading my post, it helps a lot to get it out in the open.
I will post again later and update on what transpires today if anything.
Merry Christmas to you all.
Lena x x x
Lena, hospital sounds as if it's becoming the only option, for the short term at least. Care in the Community fails miserably over the Christmas/New Year period, from my own experience. It's OK if you have a well established service, but trying to arrange anything at this stage will be impossible. It's important to recognise when caring at home is no longer sustainable.
Hi Lena and welcome.

Just a little about my situation I was at my wits end as they say, I care for my Mother who is 88 and started to see and believe things that were not in reality. Everytime I went to her GP it was called mild confusion which I totally disagreed with. It took 6 months for a call by myself( suggested by helpful people on this forum who took the time to listen to my rant and suggest Social Services) to someone at Social Services who I rang for advice, sent an urgent fax to the GP, that the GP finally referred my mum to The Memory Clinic(which I had not heard of, but now understand is the gateway to services in Old Age Psychiatry). A very helpful Consultant did a home visit and diagnosed my Mother with Acute Psychosic and included all the family in the assessment.
He also asked Nurses to call each week to assess the affects of the medication. This is just recently and I am so pleased to be moving forward with this support.

Maybe you could ask for a referral to the Memory Clinic in your area?

The Consultant prescribed a medication that he says will help-I agree with you diazipam only calms the person for a while and can have addiction problems later on, which could include mood swings that you do not want to happen.

I do hope you get the help you obviously need and have time for youself. I have found this forum really helpful. Do you have a local carers group? They can be a good support as well.

Do Take care.