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Mum slowly deteriorating and not eating - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Mum slowly deteriorating and not eating

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Hi Penny
My sympathy and condolences. So pleased for you that you were with her.
I sat next to Mum all day today, listening to her chest rattle and giving her sips of water when she roused enough from sleep to take it.
The nurses have assured me that the end is near but not right now, so I'm home for the night. They have promised to call me should there be any signs of further deterioration. All she ate today was some ice cream and a few swallows of high calorie drink, tea and water. Not promising for her 100th on the 28th.
I do so hope I will be there for Mum when she too passes.
So sorry to hear of your loss today Penny. Glad to hear your mum passed peacefully.
Sorry to hear of your loss, Penny, but glad that she is now at peace. Be gentle with yourself, Anne x
Oh Elaine, I do hope you'll be there too. I'm too distraught at the moment, to really appreciate my time with her, but I know it will be such a comfort as time goes on. I knew her time was up - some sixth sense. Hopefully, you'll be the same. 100! How amazing! These oldies are made of stern stuff. My thoughts will be with you. I hope you are getting the support you need.
(((HUGS))) you have been incredibly brave and kind through this. It won't really hit you until after the formalities are over, but telling everyone what has happened can be very upsetting. I put a death notice in the paper, asking people to contact the funeral director, not me. Once you know when the service will be send a "round robin" to anyone who might like to attend the service, I used the Christmas card list. As far as family is concerned, tell one person and ask them to tell others on "their" side of the family.
I'm sorry to read what you have been through and to hear of your mother's death, Penny. No matter how stressful the last months, I know how you will be missing her. Glad you were with her at the end.
How good that you were there at the very end - that will mean so much to you now, and a huge, huge amount in the time ahead. 'You did her right', and that knowledge will always be with you to reassure you.

Someone, a little while ago (I think it might have been Susie?) posted such a lovely prose-poem about death - about how we on this 'shore' are waving goodbye, but at the same time, there are those on the far shore are waving welcome, welcome, welcome.....and I do so hope that is the case with your mum, and, indeed, for all of us, when our time comes. I'm sure your mum took great comfort, and believing those she loved, including your step-father, were there to receive her across that strange, unknowable divide.

May your dreams tonight be sweet ones of the mother you loved, and did right by, right to the very end.

Kindest regards, at saddest times, Jenny

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother passed away in January, and was very frail and underweight towards the end, so I understand something of what you've been going through.

From what you've written here it's clear that you did everything you could to give your mother the comfort and peace of mind needed to help her pass away peacefully, and it seems she had what nurses refer to as a "good death", which is the best anyone can hope for when their time comes. I hope that when my time comes I have someone as kind as you by my side to see me through it.