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Mum slowly deteriorating and not eating - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Mum slowly deteriorating and not eating

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Oh, Penny, for now, you ARE her mum....you're looking after her, taking care of her, and 'seeing her out'.....and isn't that what a mother does? She feels safe with you, as a child with her mother, and that is THE most important thing. I'm glad she has faith, because whether or not 'anything out there' actually exists, to believe it does must comfort.

Wishing you strength, resolution and courage for this infinitely sad time - Jenny
Supportive (((hugs)))
I do hope you are managing to have some rest xx
Penny I was on the point of tears reading your heartfelt message and all the replies. It bought back all the emotions I felt when my late mother was going through the very same anguish.

I am so glad you have given your mother permission to "leave" The fact that you have said goodbye will help you in the days to come and give you some peace.

My mother also became quite agitated at times and I felt the drugs they were giving her made things worse so convinced the doctors to only give the prescribed minimum. I used to play her some of her favourite music and that had a very calming effect. Just a thought

My thoughts are with you on this journey but take something positive from every visit.
If there is any music (played softly) that you know she loved, definitely. Would music 'from her youth' be appropriate, do you think?

It is said that hearing is the last sense to leave us, so keeping talking (softly and reassuringly!) to the very end, and perhaps beyond, to be on the safe side, might, again, be a comfort to her. And, of course, touch, holding her hand so she knows you are there.

It's the strangest, most emotional time in the world, this 'final vigil' we keep.....
Wishing you strength, Penny, to get through these difficult times. When mum was in the same situation, I massaged her hands with her favourite lavender lotion. Not sure it helped but it gave me something to do. I agree with Maxwell that it does bring it all back all too vividly, even though in my case it was 18 months ago. Thinking of you x
I want to thank you all for the wonderful support you've given me over the last difficult 9 months. My mum passed away this morning and I am sitting in my garden, which gave her such pleasure, bereft at my loss but so glad she's no longer distressed and in pain. You might think it odd that I'm posting this so soon after her passing, but I think I need to tell people, and perhaps it's easier to tell people you don't know. I've wanted this for so long but I can't help being selfish - I want her back with me. Her passing, though, was lovely at the end. My husband and her brother were with me and the GP had said she might last another 12-24 hours. My husband and uncle came home to eat, but I stayed there. I held her hand and told her I was alright and that I was watching over her this end, but my lovely stepfather was waiting for her the other end. She took one last breath and was gone. I like to think it was me being there that helped her to finally let go. To all of you who care for a loved one with limited time, I wish you a peaceful passing too. x
Hi Penny

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your mother.

So very sorry to hear of your Mum's passing Penny, but so very glad for you that you were able to be with her at the end to see her off on her final journey - it's something that you can always treasure.

The next few days and weeks will be very busy with all the formalities but please try and take some time for yourself to just be quiet and remember your lovely Mum.
Am also sad to hear of your mum's passing. It's what she wanted and ready for. You keep sitting in your garden when you can. Sounds peaceful! Xx
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Mum, Penny. Glad for you both that you were able to be with her at the end and sending love and a ((HUG)) for you at this time . Best regards, Sue