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- Member
Sat Dec 07, 2019 10:27 pm
Good evening and hello to the kind folk taking time to read this post, I thank you for that firstly.
A little background and then some advice needed if at all possible. I am moving in with my partner of 8 years who lives in an over 55s sheltered accommodation type 1 bedroom flat complex. He is 56 and it is exactly 2 years to the day that he suffered a devastating stroke resulting in emergency (blue lights to Queen's at midnight) neurosurgery to relieve brain swelling.
It was a right side of the brain clot, so after major surgery, plenty of errors by various hospitals and a daily vigil by train to his bedside, he has his speech, memory and most of his personality intact, though paralysed down his left side, including his sight.
To say it's been a trauma and a tough time for all concerned is an understatement. 9 months in hospital and rehab and he is now settled in a flat adjacent to the road he grew up on. We lost our house during the financial hardship of him not getting any sick pay and me doing my best to work part time after taking 2 months off when he was critical. I rented a room because I was fearful of throwing a spanner in the works regarding his benefits, plus I was terrified of being relied upon 24/7. Having to move for a third time due to a spiral in my own physical and mental health, I now know I can cope with his needs with the help of his elderly mother and 4 carer visits per day. The initial trauma has abated and I spend all of my time with him, we laugh and do what we can to go out, he has a powered wheelchair and the bus system on the doorstep is excellent. I am too young to be added to the tenancy, so I would have no recourse to the accommodation should the worse happen.
So if, kind reader, you are still with me, I can outline my concerns. He pays a tiny amount of council tax and I worry that my presence will put it back up to the standard band rate. He is on enhanced element PIP, has his housing benefit paid and is currently on contribution based ESA. I do not claim carers allowance as up to recently I was working full time. I am currently contracted to 20 hours at just over minimum wage and am considering under advice to reduce this to 15 hours.
My intentions are to ease his family's worries about him being alone at night, as he is prone to occasional post stroke seizures and they worry about fire safety. He has a deep anxiety of not being able to use the toilet, of which my presence alone would calm his fears.
I worry about him when I leave late at night and spend all of my time with him, so it seems such a financial strain for me to rent privately if we can be together, but I don't want to cause him any loss of money.
If anyone can help shed any light at all on these issues I'd be sincerely grateful. I know citizen's advice is the obvious place to go, but it would be such a reassurance to hear from anyone who has found themselves in a similar position. I don't want either of us to live alone and I don't see why we should.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this far down the post, apologies if I've missed a massive thread on this exact situation.
Love and gratitude to all the carers here, you do the hardest job in the toughest of circumstances.
Rebecca
A little background and then some advice needed if at all possible. I am moving in with my partner of 8 years who lives in an over 55s sheltered accommodation type 1 bedroom flat complex. He is 56 and it is exactly 2 years to the day that he suffered a devastating stroke resulting in emergency (blue lights to Queen's at midnight) neurosurgery to relieve brain swelling.
It was a right side of the brain clot, so after major surgery, plenty of errors by various hospitals and a daily vigil by train to his bedside, he has his speech, memory and most of his personality intact, though paralysed down his left side, including his sight.
To say it's been a trauma and a tough time for all concerned is an understatement. 9 months in hospital and rehab and he is now settled in a flat adjacent to the road he grew up on. We lost our house during the financial hardship of him not getting any sick pay and me doing my best to work part time after taking 2 months off when he was critical. I rented a room because I was fearful of throwing a spanner in the works regarding his benefits, plus I was terrified of being relied upon 24/7. Having to move for a third time due to a spiral in my own physical and mental health, I now know I can cope with his needs with the help of his elderly mother and 4 carer visits per day. The initial trauma has abated and I spend all of my time with him, we laugh and do what we can to go out, he has a powered wheelchair and the bus system on the doorstep is excellent. I am too young to be added to the tenancy, so I would have no recourse to the accommodation should the worse happen.
So if, kind reader, you are still with me, I can outline my concerns. He pays a tiny amount of council tax and I worry that my presence will put it back up to the standard band rate. He is on enhanced element PIP, has his housing benefit paid and is currently on contribution based ESA. I do not claim carers allowance as up to recently I was working full time. I am currently contracted to 20 hours at just over minimum wage and am considering under advice to reduce this to 15 hours.
My intentions are to ease his family's worries about him being alone at night, as he is prone to occasional post stroke seizures and they worry about fire safety. He has a deep anxiety of not being able to use the toilet, of which my presence alone would calm his fears.
I worry about him when I leave late at night and spend all of my time with him, so it seems such a financial strain for me to rent privately if we can be together, but I don't want to cause him any loss of money.
If anyone can help shed any light at all on these issues I'd be sincerely grateful. I know citizen's advice is the obvious place to go, but it would be such a reassurance to hear from anyone who has found themselves in a similar position. I don't want either of us to live alone and I don't see why we should.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this far down the post, apologies if I've missed a massive thread on this exact situation.
Love and gratitude to all the carers here, you do the hardest job in the toughest of circumstances.
Rebecca
