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Moans - Carers UK Forum

Moans

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I am the mother and carer of my son who is sever sight impaired had strokes head injury and type one diabetic. He is dependent upon alcohol and will also use drugs. I've always worked alongside my carer role but aged 63 it's taking its toll. I'm struggling with stress and wonder how much longer I can do this. I walked out of my job at christmas which has messed up our finances my husband is 65. Its my first time on here.
Hi Julie , I'm sorry about the tough situation you are in, I'm new here too and hoping I can find support and some coping skills too, welcome to the site
Hi Julie, you are doing too much!
As the mum of someone with learning difficulties, my main concern has always been how he will manage when I'm dead. He now lives in a privately rented flat with carer support. Not perfect, but he has a life of his own now.
How will your son manage without you?
Does he live with you?
Claim disability benefits?
What does he do when you are at work?
Where does he get the drugs from?
Hi
It is very hard caring for an adult son or daughter who has mental health problems and addictions.
Our daughter lived with us until she was 25 and although it has been super hard supporting her whilst she lives independently she is gradually using support from mental health team, but it has taken ages 8 years and still no promised therapy.
I live in fear that she will be hurt or hurt herself every night.
But it has helped her to have a sense of self respect and dignity to be independent and that has helped her mental health.
Try to make a stand for your and your sons sake,
Compassion for you Ula
Just a big thankyou for your replies to my post Stephan Bowlingbun and Ula
Its helped to get a different perspective on things.
I've taken ages to work out how to get my way around this site. I've not felt great.
Julie,
I don't have experience or knowledge to help you here, but please trust what others reply to you from their own experience.

You are not moaning, you have valid concerns and you are reaching out.

I hope you can get an independent life for your son and assurances for his care in your laters years and beyond. No matter how easy or tough the transition is, it is for the best.

Another perspective, had he not got all these issues he would have moved out for his own life by now.
Dear Julie
I sometimes cannot manage to post much, that's ok.
You sounded exhausted, I hope you have found the strength to find a way to put things more in balance and your son is gradually getting the help he needs and not leaning on you as much.

Warm wishes Ula