Massive new chapter, whole new life...

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
That sounds like a really good, positive, compromise and workable option. Having her in respite regularly once a month is excellent. (It's great the care home has agreed - for many, they only offer respite as and when it's convenient for THEM, eg, if they have a spare room come up that they can't immediately let permanently!)

Your mum WILL get used to it, and I think once she realises she WILL come home every time, she will relax more about it. Hopefully she'll start looking forward to her 'little holidays' and I'm sure the care home staff will make a fuss of her and so on, which is good for her, and the new interests and new environments is stimulating too.

And because YOU will know that every every month you will have a regular break from care duties, it will help YOU keep going too! And that has to be something to cheer about.

So, I would definitely say this is a really good step forward, and it also, as you are already foreseeing, paves the way IF it becomes necessary, for her to be in care for longer periods of time, should the need arrive finally. But this option may last a good long time, and you will both settle in the the new routine.
Don't make the mistake I made the first time my son went into respite for 5 days. I blitzed the house, did all the paper work, and was exhausted when he came home. Book a couple of days away so you can get up late, read a book, and recharge your batteries. If this isn't possible, try to have a "holiday at home", stepping off the treadmill of caring and doing as little as possible.
I totally agree! If you've had children, you'll remember that when they were tinies, it was imperative, the moment THEY went to sleep (or playschool, or granny, or whatever), to IMMEDIATELY 'down tools' and either get to sleep yourself (!), or just get some precious precious 'me time'.

When we are caring, it's vital to realise that it' our JOB now, and we CANNOT have our 'own' lives any longer. Trying to be a carer AND have our own life AS WELL is just impossible, and we have to recognise that. In the five months I was a carer to my MIL I got NO paid work done at all. ALL my time went on caring. It was my JOB, and I had to see it as that, and not get frustrated that I couldn't have my own 'real' life. That had vanished.

It only reappeared in the times I didn't have my MIL physically with me, when 'someone else' was looking after her.