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Male carers - Carers UK Forum

Male carers

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Hi I currently work in a care home looking after people with dementi.
We have 1 other male carere, we have a female with dementia who can become very agitated & violent.
The other female carers have refused to give her personal care & the manager has suggested myself & the other male do it???
This is my problem, can 2 males give a female personal care, we are open to all sorts of accusations etc & I am very uncomfortable with this.
We normally work with another female & the other residents are happy with it.

Any help & input would be very helpful.

Hi Martin.

One for your trade union to answer ... UNISON ?

As family / kinship carers , our views would reflect our own caree's preferences.

As a former , lone , 24/7 , carer for my mother , preferences ... when only me around ?
My suggestion is to speak to CQC for advice.
I would say NO, especially someone who can't spell dementia.

I wouldn't want you within a mile of my Mum..
That's unfair as it was spelt correctly further on in the letter.
Just a typo error. You ought to read letters right through carefully.

Anyway, in any case, I do not see what a mis spell has to do with
whether one is a good carer or not.
I agree with Albert. This is a non judgemental forum. Typing errors happen, and when people are anxious and worried, they are quite likely to happen.
I think maybe request a meeting with the manager, and state that its not a practical suggestion, as you and the other male carer can not be on duty 24/7. This lady will still need personal care.
The patient has an absolute right to same sex carers.
The patient has an absolute right to same sex carers.

In the outside world , agreed.

Shame that most of us have no alternative ?

Those forgotten words in CarerLand ... DIGNITY and PRIDE ?
This is potentially a career threatening issue!

If this patient cannot give informed consent, then there should be a formal Best Interests Meeting arranged by Social Services.
Failure to do this could lead to an accusation of assault by a concerned relative.

This situation isn't fair on Martin, it's up to his employer to sort this one out to protect a vulnerable resident.

If this person is so aggressive due to dementia, then it may well be in her best interests to have two stronger braver male carers, but again, it's up to the owner of the home to sort it out, protecting both staff and resident.

Until then, Martin, I suggest you just don't do it!
Interesting conundrum there , BB.

Lone carer / caree ... best interests meeting ... lone carer to stop doing what he / she does in preference for an opposite sex paid care worker.

Assuming both carer and caree surviving on a full range of benefits with little spare ... even escalating debts ... who pays ?

Needs assessments ... financial angle ... some deemed to be over the limit still struggle to make ends meet ... especially when the caring commences virtually
overnight , and both the carer and the caree are struggling to downsize across the board to match their much reduced income to fixed expenditure.

I have known some going from £ 50 / 60,000 p.a. to a tenth of that within weeks.

Almost like losing one's well paid job ... it takes time to adjust finances to meet the new situation ... including downsizing if a property owner or finding a cheaper one to rent.