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lonely and trapped - Carers UK Forum

lonely and trapped

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hello. Am new to all of this. Am new to being a carer. Infact I didnt ask to become a carer it just happened and I hate it.
My partner of 6 years suffers with anxiety and depression associated with Atttatchment issues.
This all really flared up 3 years ago and I am now in a position where I am his carer after he attempting to take an overdose last year.
I attend CBT with his once a week and it is working but I am now at a stage where I CARNT DO IT ANYMORE!
I cried the other day because |I put my jumper on the wrong way round. I work as a Learning mentor for people with behaviour issues, usually emotional, social issues so I have it 24/7 and it is killing me.
I DONT KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE.
There thats my first post and it is a moan SORRY!
Hi Radders1 sorry to hear things are so bad, we all at some time feel the way you do, have you had a carers assesment, if not then contact the social services, if you look down the forum you will see an area for carers health issues, and also mental health issues, feel free to rant when you need to, we all do, some other lovely people will be around soon with more advice and hellos.
Hi and a warm welcome from me, good advice given by Paul.

Karen
welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. Yes, i have been out in non-matching boots before now!
Paul's advice is good.
Thanks guys for your warm comments. Although each and everyone of them made me cry!!! I do a lot of that lately, both inside and out. I carnt always do it on the outside as it makes OH worse. Usually wait until I am in the shower and let it out!!!!!
Last night OH had a panic attack in his sleep. I was woken at 11.30pm, after going to bed 9 ish because I was so exhausted, to hearing him crying in his sleep. When I woke him to reassure him,he then had full blown panic attack. Shouting and sreaming that he couldnt not breath. My 11 year old was woken by this so trying to reassure him and calm OH!!!!
Hour and half later stood in garden, having a fag, figured that getting hinm to have one would regulate his breathing, and he was still crying that his mummy was not coming back. Gripping my hand for dear life. This is where I hate myself, all the time I was thinking I DONT NEED THIS, I CARNT DO THIS AGAIN!
I knew I had to be birmingham this morning taking a class of 32 kids to cadburys world (dont like chocolate) but aware that I didnt/couldnt leave him on his own. DO I GO TO WORK, DO I LEAVE HIM ON HIS OWN!!

Got a stinking headache today, keep going dizzy, feel like I am in knots inside! Joy!
I just wanted you to know I know exactly what you're going through. I am trying to hold on to a job too.

I thought joining here was the first step. It does help - a lot. I hope to see you around.

Linda
First priority gotta be loosening those knots, do you get Any Me time that isnt work or caring related i wonder.

I understand most of what you are feeling but gotta admit you are the first person i have met who doesnt like chocolate ....sending you my deepest respect Image


Nope, me no like chocolate. Give me a pineapple or kiwi anytime. I often wonder why I am soooooo overweight!!!

I do go to college on a thursday evening to do British Sign Language but aside from that its kids, work and OH.
Thank you guys. Boy it is good to let all of this out. Sorry! I havnt told anybody just how bad I am feeling. A few of my friends know about OH and his difficulties and they are sooo wonderful but I gues I dont want to be the friend that is moaning everytime talk. I have lost frfriends over the years because of that. Saying that I guess they werent tru friends if they were hnot pre were not there to listen.
I just wanted you to know I know exactly what you're going through. I am trying to hold on to a job too.

I thought joining here was the first step. It does help - a lot. I hope to see you around.

Linda


Thank you Linda. Blimey why am I crying!!!! What do you do for a job?

Jenny x
Thank you guys. Boy it is good to let all of this out. Sorry! I havnt told anybody just how bad I am feeling. A few of my friends know about OH and his difficulties and they are sooo wonderful but I gues I dont want to be the friend that is moaning everytime talk. I have lost frfriends over the years because of that. Saying that I guess they werent tru friends if they were hnot pre were not there to listen.
It's so true when you're caring you seem to lose your friends, they don't understand, they stop phoning and calling in. Come in here and talk more, you're among people who DO understand caring and all the problems associated with it.
Have you had a carers assessment done to assess your needs. How does your 11 year old cope with the situation?
Take care,

Karen
thank you Linda. Blimey why am I crying!!!! What do you do for a job?

Jenny x
I am an administrator for a letting agent, I deal with the repairs and maintenance issues from the tenants. I do have to have my wits about me, something that has been a challenge lately.

I am thinking somethings going to have to give sooner rather than later, whats your job?

Linda

"oops! edited cos I just re-read your post and youve already explained your job - sorry"