Living with my dying mum

Tell us a bit about yourself here.

I m 53 and am living with and caring for my 83 mum.

We really so close it s not natural.

She is now very poorly, barely eating or drinking. Swallowing/choking episodes, unable to hold her head up , heart failure unable to barely mobilise.

I m so frightened all the time
Hello Sally, sorry to hear about mum.
You should be getting a lot of help at this time. Have you approached Social Services, has the doctor referred you to the hospice, or a nursing home? Is mum claiming Attendance Allowance?
I know it's hard to do, but if you can Google "Signs of Dying" there are some good articles which explain how the body gradually shuts down, and how it only wants the amount of food and drink it can cope with.
Have you ever dealt with the formalities of a relative dying before? Sadly, I've now lost all four parents, brother, and husband.
It seems daunting, but there is a step by step process, and you should get lots of support. The most important thing to do is decide who to use as a funeral director, contact them, and explain the situation. Make sure they explain charges and options. It is much better to do this before a death occurs, in your situation, then you can just give them a ring when you are inevitably very upset, and they will help immediately.
Please do contact your local hospice and aske for their advise and help. Many hospices offer 'hospice at home 'services that offer both practical and emotional support to care and carer but do not mean that anyone needs to move in to the Hospice itself.

You deserve not to feel alone and frightened at this sad time.