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Joined for some advice - Carers UK Forum

Joined for some advice

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
First I'll say hello. Hello!

Where to begin...I have cared for my disabled and elderly mum for over 20 years but this Christmas has been a nightmare.
Basically she has been in and out of hospital and after taking her home yesterday she within 8 hours she was back in again after banging her leg. It looks like it'll be a long stay again. This means I'll have to contact with benefits to tell them because of the 4 weeks rule. Not only I'm scared for my mum I got the added worry because I can't afford any of my money to be stopped. I'm at my wits end at moment.
Never in my 20 years of caring have taken a paid holiday or to be honest even had an holiday. I go see my mum everyday at the hospital I don't drive I pay for buses to get there. I really don't know what to do.
Hi Donna,

Welcome to the forum.

You have been caring for your Mum for a long time.

The benefits system does seem to be unfair to carers and those in hospital. It takes no account of the fact that the carer is still visiting and doing many care related tasks and needs money to live on. Likewise, the caree still has costs.

Do take a look here:
http://www.nhs.uk/nhsengland/healthcost ... costs.aspx scroll down to the bottom where it says "those not entitled," and read there as it explains exceptions and concessionary payments.

Hi Donna, welcome to the forum. Was mum ready for discharge at all, or was it just a pre Christmas Friday afternoon clearout?! My mum was in and out within a day, some years ago. Hospital visiting is a nightmare. Could you ask mum if she could let you have some money for bus fares to the hospital? After all, she isn't using her pension when she is in hospital. Carers UK has a brilliant helpline which deals with benefits etc., why not give them a ring after the holiday? Can I ask how old mum is, and what is wrong with her?
Thank you for the replies.

My mum is 78 years old bad heart,bad spine,bad kidneys,bad legs basically bad health overall.
I can't fault the hospital they actually wanted to keep her for a couple more days but she wanted to come home for Christmas and because she could stand and walk a little again and what she was brought in with was treated they couldn't force her to stay. I wish I had been firmer with her. Hindsight is always 20/20 :(
Yeah I could ask her for bus fares but it's bills in general I'm very worried about. I have had a recount of the days she spent in hospital and believe I have a week to phone them. I know my mum probably won't be home but at least Christmas will be over with so maybe I can go get advice and help.
They still have a duty to ensure a "safe discharge", whatever the patient wants. As main carer, they should have involved you in any discharge arrangements. How much longer do you think mum can manage at home? Try to think ahead a bit, where will she be in two years time, maybe? Is it time to insist on getting some outside help, for example? Or is she nearing the stage of requiring full time residential care? You need a holiday. If you love mum enough to care for her full time, she should love and appreciate what you do enough to take a break now and then.