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joined today this is me - Carers UK Forum

joined today this is me

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi I am a single mum of 2 a 17 year old daughter and a 13 year old with ADHD and Autism, although I have always been their carers I have recently had to quit work and claim carers allowance I feel very isolated and extremely unsupported, I find myself becoming increasingly more unhappy thought this may be a way of feeling less of a failure. Hoped there would be advice on finding local groups to try and escape for 1/2 hour a month, as I feel that my mood is starting to get dark and do not want to let it push me so low it takes months to lift, or is this just me who feels like that
Hi Jacqueline

It is definitely not you. I had to give up work in April to care for my teenage son, and I have felt at times like I am sliding in to a pit of despair. Chatting on here helps (and netmums). I have been to a couple of groups, but have actually found the value of them is not the actual meeting, but being able to meet other people in a similar situation that you can chat to or meet up with at your own convenience. Hope you find joining us useful

Steph x
Thanks stef,
I tried net mums once thought they were far too perfect and clicky maybe I should try again, I am pleased it works for you though, staying positive should be so much easier with practice but isn't, it can but extremely difficult x
Hi Jacqueline and welcome to the forum :)

I think that most Carer's feel isolated/unsupported at some point, especially if they have given up work to take on the caring ! Having to give up work means that you lose that daily social interaction with work colleagues.

If you 'google' "Carers Support group" and the name of your town you should get a list of Carer's centres in your area - they are a good source of information and support and most have a 'drop-in' type of coffee morning at some point in the week and occasional outings/pamper days etc.
Welcome to the forum. When did you last have your Carers Assessment updated by Social Services? Might be worth asking them to do a new one (don't be fobbed off by being sent a form, make it clear that you want to see a human being). They should be able to put you in touch with local groups etc. As you have recently given up work, make sure you are claiming everything you are entitled to, both for yourself and your daughter. Carers UK have a brilliant but busy helpline (if you can't get through on the phone, send them an email). They made me £50 better off, so I'm always happy to sing their praises.
Hi Jacqueline and welcome,

Welcome to the forum. Lots of carers feel like you do currently, part if not a lot of the time. This was a revelation to me when I first joined the forum after acknowledging I was both S's parent and his carer. (He has autism.)

Giving up work is a mixed blessing. Less juggling of commitments but a lot of time to "live in your head."

Do both of your daughters go to school?

Melly1

Melly1
Hi smelly they are both at school my daughter is 17 and fine my son is nearly 14 in special school fully statemented but I can be called at the drop of a hat my daughter had been looking after Daniel while I worked at night but wash't coping so I had no choice but to quit thanks