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Hello There. - Carers UK Forum

Hello There.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hey Everyone, Im Elise, 20 and from wales.

I care for my mum who has Fibromyalgia and disintegrated spinal discs and a new condition, i can not recall its name though.

Im Living at home with my mum and have been home for a year now. I work part time as a retail assistant. I love my mum to bits but im finding it ever more increasingly hard to live with her. She is very demanding as a person anyway it just seems ever more worse with her conditions. Everything seems over shadowed by her. I dont often know how to respond to her either because she just repeats herself a lot with how ill she is and so on. I keep getting told by family that i shouldnt put my life on hold but i find i am. I find i used to be able to talk with her but not anymore. She used to listen but now she doesnt. Other family find it hard to visit and stay for too long too. Could this be because of how the her tablets are effecting her? I mean with her moods and so on. She is on around 40 different tablets i think for her various issues.

I guess in some way my question seems a little more selfish? How can i still have a life? I fear in some ways that i wont ever be able to leave home and have a life and family of my own. I find im returning to teenage reclusivness even thought im not a teen anymore. I dont go out unless its work or shopping and even then its family usually. I find my life stuck in the same routine. Go to work and come home and repeat. I feel i never have a day off because on the days im not working i still have to work and do the things she wants done and so on. She askes, oh if you find a nice man he wont mind living with his mother in law ect will he. I find myself lost for words.

I hope i've done this all correctly. Thank you to any replies.
Hi Elise and a warm welcome from me.

Firstly you are not alone in feeling as though you have no life, isolation has come to many of us through our caring roles. Carees can become more demanding and can change through the different medications they are taking, it may be worth discussing that with her GP. Have you had a carers assessment done, this will assess YOUR needs as a carer.
Others will be along soon to welcome you and put forward other suggestions, we're a friendly supportive bunch on here.

Karen
I havent heard of a carers assessment. I will have to look into it. I just wonder how im am to change the situation. I dont want to be this way for the rest of my life. There have been other factors resulting in all this and the feeling of hopelessness. My therapist trys to suggest things but i find i cant bring myself to get the courage to for for it all.

Thank you for the welcome. x
Thank you very much.
Hi Donkitten and welcome to the forum, lots of lovely people here with good advice. My Daughters spine is crumbling so know what a hard time you are having, hang in there, cannot promise it will get easier, but can promise plenty of support from all the wonderfull people on here.
hi donkitten welcome , we have all been there to what you said , its a fact of life that once you become a carer our life is on hold , all I can say is check the feeds that the others had put and remember you are not alone , we are on this forum as one ready to help . Image

you will get your life back on track it may be hard sometimes but you will get there , stay strong and take care keep posting Image Image
hi,
im feeling a bit low today and was desperately searching through the forum to lift me a little, i read through your post and can pretty much relate to every word youv'e written, and i honestly feel for you and your struggles, i care for my mum who also has fibro.
I also get told not to put my life on hold, but its dificult not to do, and even more difficult to see the light and the end of the tunnel, I find myself asking the same questions as youve mentioned, for example having a life and a family of your own, but its not something i've managed to figure out just yet.
feel free to pm me, anytime!:) x