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Hi I am new to this forum - Carers UK Forum

Hi I am new to this forum

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi, my name is Eileen,

I never know where to start but I suppose my feelings are that I am very resentful and I feel very overwhelmed by life at the moment.

My husband was diagnosed with heart disease some years ago and it has got progressively worse! He does have some other issues as well which are quite debilitating to say the least and is going to have some tests with regard to parkinsons which they feel he may have, so my husband has gone from being a very independent man to someone that I don't really know sometimes. I am the main breadwinner now, I am self employed and I have a very busy business which is good in itself but it is exhausting me. I have to take care of all the bills and the running of the house, i.e. the cleaning etc. My husband does do the cooking though which is a positive but then I wash up and at the end of the day I am exhausted.

Also, my husband was a very strong man and is not now and I have to make all the decisions and take action upon them.

I do have a lady that comes in once a week which is good and helps with the cleaning so this is a big help but it is the other days . I have my son who helps out with the business but he has his problems at the moment too and a lot of it is down to me again so I am feeling in the depth of despair really. I have been meaning to share for sometime now but it is getting the time and it exhausts me even writing my feelings for my share. I do hope that I haven't garbled on but I needed to find somewhere that I could express how I feel with likeminded people.

At the moment I do feel that I could walk out of my life right now and just be on my own with my dogs just to get some peace, I feel that I am the only one in the house that works in the house and also has a full time job to do too. Anyway, I would like to say thank you for allowing me to share and hope tomorrow will be better. :)
Hello Eileen and welcome to the forum :)

I can tell you that your feelings of resentment and being overwhelmed are not unusual - in fact, they're quite normal for Carers ! We have a term for it here - "Clapped Out Carers Syndrome". It's that point we all reach when everything is just too much to bear and it's very hard to stay 'upbeat' all of the time, after all, we're all only human - not super heroes !
At the moment I do feel that I could walk out of my life right now and just be on my own with my dogs just to get some peace
Do you manage to get any "me" time at all ? It is important that you do; even an hour or so every other day can make a big difference to your ability to cope with what life has thrown at you.

One of members regularly suggests "streamlining" your life - washer/dryer; no clothes that need ironing; dishwasher; simplifying the garden by doing away with flower beds and lawns etc - anything to free up more time.
Hi Eileen and Welcome,

Feel free to 'garble' - we all do it! The life of a carer is a varied one and nothing (no courses, exams or otherwise) can prepare you for it, but we all have ways of coping. I find the Forum is helpful and warm. No one judges you - we are hear to listen/read/maybe advise but offer friendship and support. You are not alone.
Your husband sounds as though he was very much a strong and independant person and now he has to rely on others for help. It can be tough for him but you are there for him and that is fantastic. I look after my elderly Mum and I think back to how different my life was 2 years ago. I often 'garble' (as I'm doing now!) - time, what is that?

Take care and if you can make time for yourself, do. Oh yes, something my friends and family often tell me to do - BREATHE!

Once again, Welcome
Viv