By the way somebody at some point gave me a suicide hotline link. I just wanna let you all know that I have never been and am not suicidal.
When I said about harming myself I just meant that when my mum was being extra aggressive and difficult I got so frustrated that I bashed myself over the head with my own hands... not suicide self harming. I'm too much of a coward and have a low threashhold for pain to do any of the hard core self harming don't worry...
I also love myself too much... not ready to head onto the next dimension yet