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Introduce myself - Page 2 -Carers UK Forum

Introduce myself

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Thank you, SunnyDisposition. My girlfriend didn't have these issues when we met two and a half years ago.

She was a theatre assistant at a private hospital, so she's finding it really hard to cope with such a drastic change.

She's going to attend psychotherapy as part of her pain management. She's said that I need to attend counselling and she agrees that she needs to as well.

I think it's been especially hard as I've been teaching children who have very severe needs and behavioural issues as well as getting them to make two years worth of progress to pass SATs (thankfully we got there!)

Senior leadership are very happy with the results and parental feedback so pay rise has been agreed, which will certainly help to fund more support.
Hi MrsA. Thank your comments.

We've had a long serious discussion and have agreed to share out tasks more equally. My partner and I agreed that I've taken on too much myself and that she needs to do more for herself.

Her limitations are both physical and neurological, so we had to break the PIP assessment appeal into manageable stages over time as her mental capacity fluctuates.

She's been very clear that she wants to do a lot more for me - mostly because she wants me to be happy. She's said I need to find hobbies and make time for myself. Not be limited by her disabilities. So I've got back into my sprinting and creative writing today which I've absolutely loved!

Thank you so much for your support and kind comments. I really appreciate it.
Hi Ryan,

It's really sad, for both of you, that so many issues have developed in such a short time. Your worlds have been turned upside down, maybe you are both grieving for the future you planned.

My son was brain damaged when he was born, at the age of 40 he can't read, write, or do any maths, but lives in his own flat with carer support. He has done incredibly well to reach this stage, thanks to the hard work and dedication of teachers like you.

You both have many skills to draw upon, so once you've had a well earned rest, think about how to streamline the house as much as possible, and accepting that what you want may not be possible.

After I was disabled in a car crash, I had to do something drastic with my larger than average garden. My eldest son bullied me into doing away with all the flower borders, the shrubs, lilac trees and apple trees. My late husband and I had built the garden from nothing, I was really upset about all the plants i'd tended being lost (on Freecyle) but really it was the best thing I'd ever done.

You may not have a large garden, but maybe there is something from your old life that is making this new, changed life especially difficult for both of you?
Hi Ryan,
I had a lovely day yesterday, thank you. I met up with a friend I made on the forum and did some gardening while S was out for an hour in the evening.

It sounds like you and your partner have had some fruitful discussion and made a plan for how to improve your situation. I'm glad the time spent sprinting and writing was helpful; when we are happy, our carees benefit too. The challenge will be to maintain your hobbies once you are back at school.

I employ a cleaner to help me when I'm at school, just two hours a week - worth every penny. It's one less thing for me to juggle. BB always says which of the chores do you hate the most - that's the one to get help with.

Your partner will have a financial assessment if she meets the criteria for support through a Needs Assessment, if she needs to contribute to her care, then she can use her benefits. https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... assessment


Sorry this post is disjointed - my mind is thinking about To do lists as I type!

Melly1
BowlingBun, I'm so sorry to hear all this. It must be very challenging but rewarding to see your son see so much progress. Well done to both of you for making such a huge achievement.

It must be really tough to lose something that you've invested so much in, but I'm glad it's helped you.

Thank you for the advice. We're working on streamlining tasks and as my managers are happy with my class results and given me a pay rise, it means more of my partner's funding can be used to support with the home.

As always, thank you for your generous and helpful advice.
Melly, I'm glad you were able to have done time for yourself and meet with your friend.

I think the discussion has been helpful but it will take time to see if it's had a lasting impact. There are things we still might disagree on but we've compromised and made changes where we can.

I think employing a cleaner is a great idea and something that we have discussed.

Thank you again fir your kind advice. I really appreciate it.

I hope your To Do list isn't proving too difficult. I'm glad you are getting time to meet others and take time for yourself.
Ryan
There are things we still might disagree on but we've compromised and made changes where we can.
That sounds promising and is true of any friendship/relationship.

Did you do some sprinting and/or writing today?


Melly1
Thank you, Melly. The hobbies have really helped. Going in to school to do some work for next year with work pals has really helped too.

I think, in the nicest possible way, my partner and I have been spending too much time with each other.
Ryan, that sounds much more positive. Well done.
What hobbies or interests can your partner do now?
Ryan_19071
I think, in the nicest possible way, my partner and I have been spending too much time with each other.
Oh yes, I can totally empathise with that. That will be S and I when he breaks up from college and we are joined at the hip for nearly three weeks …

Have you finished your planning? Do you have your own classroom/base or do you have to move around?

Melly1