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I think I need care myself! - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

I think I need care myself!

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I have made some very good friends, just from talking on here Image Image
I have made some very good friends, just from talking on here Image Image
Well you talk....we LISTEN Image Image Image Image
ooooooooooooooooooooo Rosemary.........from you of all people Image Image Image
(compare postings LOL)
Originally posted by Excaliber
[Maybe Carers UK should open a dating site for carers? There must be lots of carers who are stuck at home and feel they will never find friendship or romance - but who better to understand how you feel than another carer in your area - or even just an online penpal??

Actually this isn't difficult to set up - you can buy off the peg software for a small outlay.]

Do you know, I was just thinking that. There is an assumption that people who care for others are already in a relationship or have close supportive family. It must be very lonely caring for somebody who is so ungrateful. I am lucky enough to be with my partner who I've known all my life but we only got together properly just over two years ago. There must be quite a few individuals on here who are single and would just be happy enough to 'chat' online and would completely understand the problems that Adamski has - obviously using the usual precautions, etc, about making friends online.
As for having a degree, Adamski, I got my degree while my three eldest boys were growing up and now I am doing a postgraduate degree online. Even if you cannot work, you are obviously able to access a computer. Studying is another way to meet or at least communicate with people and also keep something for yourself.

Don't lose heart - I agree with the others that something will turn up. Image
Image Hi Adam, I really felt for you when I read your post and would just like to say a couple of things. First you are obvoiusly a good and caring person and I know that there are a lot of women out there who have come out of relationships with men who are just the opposite. It may take time but dont give up on the dating sites, you may need to re-do your profiles, remember they only have the words you put on paper to make a judgement of you. The other thing is that the future is waiting for you you must think positivly and set goals. Sadly your mum wont be there forever, so when she goes you will be starting your new life and the thing that could keep you going now is to prepare for that. The one thing that you can do while you are tied down at present is to update your skills to prepare yourself for the job market. It may be harder to find work when your over 21! lol, but not impossible, it will be up to you to sell yourself, you havent been unemployed you have been doing an invaluable and responsible job. Plus saving the taxpayers a lot of money! Good Luck
Image Just a thought, Adamski. You mention your grandmother getting 'help' from her GP but you don't mention any other support. Are you aware of your rights as a carer? You can get in touch with Social Services and they have to give you a Carers Assessment if you request it. (This is a legal requirement, I believe) Social Services may be able to help with some respite care so you can have some time to yourself. (Not easy, I admit)
Also, get in touch with Elizabeth Finn Care - it's easy to find them on a website search. I got in touch with them when I found myself in difficult circumstances and they sent somebody to assess my circumstances from SAFFA (they didn't have anybody locally). The result was that I got a regular income from them that did not affect my benefits and a special needs monetary gift that I could draw on for emergencies or another circumstance such as the cost of visiting a relative. Not only that, but SAFFA also sent me a cheque to be able to buy my autistic son some new clothes. It is difficult to get in touch with a charity and admit that you cannot cope but in my case I have a duty to my son. The thing is, not only can you get practical monetary help BUT you also get much needed contact with people who can understand and also help in other ways such as checking you are getting everything you are entitled to.
You need to empower yourself and get into a position that you are coping and feel more confident. This will make finding and keeping a relationship more likely. And it is perfectly true that there are individuals looking for love who are not shallow enough to judge somebody by the role they have in their lives. But remember, you are looking for a partner, not a counsellor, so although you should be honest about your carers role, if you are dating someone you don't need to go on about it too much - not romantic!