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I'm new to this forum... I recently moved mum in with me.. - Carers UK Forum

I'm new to this forum... I recently moved mum in with me..

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi everyone,

I'm new on here, I look after my mum who is 93 and has Alzheimer's I've been caring for her for nearly 8 years now at her flat and things were going ok until this year but things have gone rapidly downhill since she had a fall in February and broke her arm.. soon after that she started hearing voices which at first weren't too bad mainly people singing and calling her name, but then it got much worse she was hearing people telling her she was going to die someone was going to kill her and she was terrified bless her she started to barricade herself into her flat and even rang the police a few times, it was awful. I got in touch with her CPN who put her on Risperidone which I hate to do but she was becoming so upset we had no choice. Anyway all sorts has happened since then (long story) but I'd already decided she would be better off with me and had started to decorated a room for her when she had another fall no broken bones this time but she'd fallen behind her front door and it was very difficult to get to her so after a short stay in hospital and a mad rush for me to finish her room, move her things in and get a stair lift installed I moved her into my house. she's been with me nearly a month now and its good days and bad as I expected, but the bad are very so some nights I don't get much sleep but I couldn't put her into a care home its not the place for her. I'm still trying to get as much help as I can but things are slow. I have brothers and a sister but 2 of them don't want to know and one is living too far away.
This is getting becoming a bit longer than I expected for my first post so I'll stop talking now.. Image
Hi and welcome. My mother is 92 so we're almost twins. Image
Hi and welcome
Welcome to the forum, mum is very lucky to have you to help. As a newcomer, has anyone told you about a disabled needs assessment and carers assessment from your local authority? Did you know mum is exempt from Council Tax on the grounds of Severe Mental Impairment? Has anyone mentioned Attendance Allowance to you? I've been a carer for 34 years, and the most important thing to remember is that you need to care for yourself, as well as mum. You need some regular "me" time every week. Social Services should be able to arrange something for you, it really depends on where you live as to what they do, and what they call it.
Hello and welcome, I live with my Mum and care for her 24/7 too, so you have a lot in common with many of us. Join in and ask questions as you go, we'll all help you as much as we can.
hello and welcome and well done you!

And by the way, it's ok to start talking again just whenever you are ready to lol!!!! We don't charge by the length of posts, honest!

I hope the risperidone helped for a bit.
Glad you have a CPN on board, hope that is proving useful.

looking forward to hearing from you again. Image

Thank you everyone,
Such a warm welcome Image I think I'm going to enjoy being on here talking to people who understand exactly what its like..

And thank you so much 'bowlingbun' for the info. I can see this is going to be a great place for advice and information. Image I did know about council tax exemption and at the minute I'm currently waiting for social services to come and assess mums needs but they're taking they're time, not sure if that's the same as a disabled needs assessment? I've had an assessment through Northants carers again I'm not sure if its the same sort of thing? and yes mum is on attendance allowance but its the low rate, she's been getting this for 7 years. i've just applied for the high rate but had a letter today to say it can take 11 weeks for a decision, even though they have a letter from mums CPN saying she needs 24 hour help and supervision. I am trying to get as much 'me time' as I can because I know this is important.. mum goes to a daycentre a few days a week but I've recently heard they're closing at the end of March and also they're having problems coping with mum when she gets distressed so have asked me if I can pick her up a couple of hours earlier, which I understand, but of course it means that I don't have a whole day to myself. but I'm looking into getting sitters through Age UK for a few hours each week, hopefully I'll have that in place in the New Year.

This is not my first caring role I also cared for my late father with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia for just under 2 years but that was 11 years ago and things seem to have changed a bit now. i've also worked in care and seen the other side from caring for a loved one at home.

Thank you again to all of you, I'm so glad I decided to give this a try.. mum is in bed now so I'm going to spend a bit of time browsing through the forum Image
Sounds like you are very well organised. There is quite a backlog of claims for Attendance Allowance, but when it is finally paid, you will get it backdated to the date you originally applied, which will be a nice lump sum. Shame about the day centre closing - have you asked Social Services to arrange transport, that would give you a little bit more time to yourself, that's assuming mum would accept it of course. Social Services should provide something to replace the day centre for you.
Welcome from me too!

Bell x
Hi Bowlingbun..

Not sure about well organised but I'm getting there slowly lol there's such a lot to do at the min I have a list of people I need to contact, I'm working my way through it its taken me 4 weeks to finally get the occupational therapist to come out to my home and I'm still not certain she'll turn up they are very short staffed at the min, but all being well she should be here Tuesday fingers crossed. same with the district nurse she is hopefully coming on Monday to talk about incontinence pads mum wears them day and night now and we were buying them but its getting too expensive. when social services come out to assess mum they should hopefully get her referred to another day centre but it needs they're referral apparently. Its just all a bit overwhelming at the min. its good to know the Attendance Allowance will get back dated Image