Words of wisdom needed for future care of two elderly parents, please!

[kate_170312]

Hi,
Newly joined for sage advice from anyone with a similar experience please?
My mother (75) is primary carer at home for my father (80) who has Parkinson's and diabetes. He requires almost constant monitoring for correct meds etc.
Mum has beaten cancer twice (yey!), but now has begun to suffer panic attacks. Her recent blood pressure spikes required A&E attention, but she panics as to who will care for Dad in her absence.
My brother and I both live close (40 mins) so have been able to assist in hospital runs etc but it takes both of us eg: one to run Mum to hospital, the other to stay with Dad.
It's at a point where we both need to be constantly at hand in case of emergency.
They are both strong willed and determined to stay in their own home. Dad would not accept live in care from either child, he's old school!
I guess my queries are:
A) Has anyone been in a similar situation?
What are the possible respite care options for Mum?
C) How do we approach the whole subject of onward care with our parents?

Many thanks for any support x

[bowlingbun]

Welcome to the forum. At one stage my husbands parents and my parents were ill all at the same time. Nightmare.

Your parents need someone else to help them, especially in times of crisis. How to arrange this depends larrely on their financial situation. If dad has most money, then does mum have over £23,000 in her own right? They can be asseesed either jointly or individually. Do either of them claim Attendance Allowance?
Have they each written a Power of Attorney? Made a will?

[not a martyr]

Hello Kate,=

I am new to all this too. I am struggling with two elderly parents being very unwell also. I probably don't have any sage words and wisdom to offer you and I reckon that many others here will have greater knowledge and experience.

But firstly I'd like to say that it is a total "double whammy" when both parents are like this and I may understand a little of what you are going through as I am there too at the moment.

Have you tried contacting you parents' GP? Do they have a "care assessor" who would visit them and advise on their needs? I did this with my mother recently, although it was complex because my father is registered with another practice. All I would say is, don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. I wish I had done it sooner!

Good luck to you. x