I brought my mother back to the UK in March this year. She had lived abroad for 25 years. She agreed to come home - financially she could no longer afford to live abroad - there was no access to social funding. Plus she is 87 years old and frail - deaf++ and her mobility is poor - she walks with a rollator.
It has been a disaster. She hates living here. She has made no effort to integrate or engage with anything. I have tried to get some care for her - to give me a break and for some socialisation but she has declined it all. I have got a Social Worker involved but my mother does not like her. I tried a befriending service but again my mother did not want to know. I am SO stressed with it all - I am signed off work and have been for the last 6 weeks. I don't like leaving her on her own as she does not know anyone but doesn't want to know anyone. I spend the majority of the day with her and take her out every afternoon to get her out of the house. She has no money and we are waiting for suitable social housing for her - but it is taking forever for something to become available.
Tonight was the worst time ever. All she wants to do is return to living abroad and she says if she can't she will kill herself and it will be on my head. (I have 2 siblings but they do not want to be involved with any of this). I have had enough and I cannot see how this situation will eventually work out - she has viewed supported living accommodation but flatly refuses to go anywhere like that. She needs support with shopping and laundry but can manage her personal care and dressing. She is still fiercely independent despite having physical limitations. Does anyone have any knowledge of what would happen if I said to the Social Worker that I can't do this anymore and hand her over to them - it feels alien for me to do this but for my own sanity I need to do something.
It has been a disaster. She hates living here. She has made no effort to integrate or engage with anything. I have tried to get some care for her - to give me a break and for some socialisation but she has declined it all. I have got a Social Worker involved but my mother does not like her. I tried a befriending service but again my mother did not want to know. I am SO stressed with it all - I am signed off work and have been for the last 6 weeks. I don't like leaving her on her own as she does not know anyone but doesn't want to know anyone. I spend the majority of the day with her and take her out every afternoon to get her out of the house. She has no money and we are waiting for suitable social housing for her - but it is taking forever for something to become available.
Tonight was the worst time ever. All she wants to do is return to living abroad and she says if she can't she will kill herself and it will be on my head. (I have 2 siblings but they do not want to be involved with any of this). I have had enough and I cannot see how this situation will eventually work out - she has viewed supported living accommodation but flatly refuses to go anywhere like that. She needs support with shopping and laundry but can manage her personal care and dressing. She is still fiercely independent despite having physical limitations. Does anyone have any knowledge of what would happen if I said to the Social Worker that I can't do this anymore and hand her over to them - it feels alien for me to do this but for my own sanity I need to do something.