How can I support the sister of my disabled son

[l_1603]

Hi Im asking for advice about my situation.

I have a adult son with fragile x syndrome and he lives fulltime with me at home.

Anyway My daughter seems distressed recently because she feels she will have too look after him when i can't.
I've assured her it's not expected of her , And supported living would take over ,and I've never asked her too help in any way so not sure why she's so worried.She keeps saying she feels guilty to not have helped.
I've explained it's not a normal situation and why should she ,she has her own life .I've never wanted to get in the way.
Although I realise it was different for growing her up.
I feel guilty too.
.i have health problems too but I'm not too old.and still manageable as full time carer.
Is this common for siblings to worry.
How can I make her understand .?

[sunnydisposition]

What ages are your children. Does your son have a Social Services care plan. Which is annually reviewed and undated. Perhaps your daughter would feel more reassured. If it was written into you son's future care plan. Does your son also know and agree with the plan. You need to ask your daughter what would help her feel reassured.

[Lindi]

I am the sister of a 78 year old brother with Learning disabilities. You are doing the right thing reassuring her that she will not need to look after your son, possibly show her that you are making plans and what will happen. My Mother was not like this she insisted from a young age that as I was the only girl it was my duty and ignored me if I got upset and distressed about it. She would not make any plans. I have only now got the ball rolling for full time care for him and I feel so guilty.

[bowlingbun]

How old is your son? It's so important he moves away from home while young, before you are old or I'll, so that you can help him learn to be as independent as possible.