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Hiya, new carer to the forum - Carers UK Forum

Hiya, new carer to the forum

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Heya guys, im not a new carer, just new to here. Ive been caring for my mum for the last 3 years now, when i first moved in due to personal problems (mine) she didnt really require my care, so it kinda crept up on us. She has cervical and lumbar spondylosis, with arthritus thrown in for good measure, so it makes her day to day living extremely painful, which i have to say is heartbreaking to watch. I am 22, i have a daughter , and we both live with my mum, i had my daughter young, but the way i see it, is that it left me in the perfect position to care for my mum. We live with her, so i am a permanent carer, and a mum, which gets hard somedays. I feel like i am torn between being an able and good carer, and a good mum, as somedays i am so tired and achy from the days jobs that i dont have the energy to do anything with my daughter. I also have extreme anxiety, which affects my sleep, and leaves me feeling panicky all the time. I feel overworked, and most of all i feel selfish for feeling bad over the fact that i am 22, a single mother, and i spend everyday caring. I feel like i have given up my life somedays, i havent got time for friends, for a job, and most days i feel like i am going crazy, and i have no one to talk to about all this, as i dont want my mum to feel worse than she does at the moment, needing me to do everything for her.
Ok rant over. I love my mum, and i could never stop caring for her, she is an amazing woman, and she doesnt deserve the hand she has been dealt in this life.
hiya Sarah welcome to the forum. Im a young carer aswell 24 yr old. i care for my dad. i hope you find the forum as useful as i have. there are lots of friendly people in here Image Image
Kat xxx
Thanks for the welcome Kat! Im sure it will be helpfull being able to talk to people going through what i am. And to make some new friends as well! Image xx
Hi and welcome.Hope you find the Forum as useful and fun as i do.Similar position to yourself,i`m just ageing faster. Image Image Image
Hi and welcome Sarah. This forum is a good place to speak to others who actually understand! Also to let off some steam now and again and make friends. I hope you find it useful.
hello and welcome Image
Hi Sarah,

That sounds really tough! I look after my mum and have an 8 year old boy but he's only with me half the week. He's as good as gold most of the time but that half of the week is so much harder than when he's not with me. I really struggle between satisfying his needs and my mums.

Back in the summer I felt really stressed and noticed that I'd gained about a stone in weight. This was a wake up call for me and started exercising, going out on my bike for about an hour each day. I think this helped a lot, I certainly lost the weight and now feel much better. I've stopped cycling now coz I think I over did and now have a minor knee injury. But anyway I think regular exercise of some kind is good for stress, anxiety if you can fit it in some time etc. If you don't look after yourself you won't be able to look after anyone.

Anyway very impressed with what you do because I only have my boy half the time and that makes it so much easier.

steve
Hi Sarah , welcome to the site.

Feeling guilty comes with caring and being a parent, all parents, single or not feel guilty at one stage or another, dont beat your self up about that.

Im a single mum with 3 kids, although 2 of them are independent, i care for my 10 yr old who has Autism.

I hope you find some time to come on here and let of some steam and chat to people , it really does help, the people here are lovely.

Tracey x
Hi,
Welcome Image
You have found the perfect place to make new friends, chat, rant, have a laugh, but best of all, everyone knows what it's like, so no judgement.
I look forward to popping on here every morning, it sets me up for the day, whatever it may bring Image
xx
Welcome to the forum Sarah - you'll find a lot of support and friendship here from people who are in similar situations (I'm caring for my mother by myself so know what you're going through). Caring can be a lonely, frustrating old business at times so drop in and offload whenever you need to. Image
Jo